My heart bleeds

The past few days have been tough. I’ve been toying with innumerable assorted thoughts in my mind. But, today I’ve reached the end of my tether. I was honoured to spend my lunch hour with a dear and very close friend of mine. We’ve only seen each other three times this year, quite pathetic with only the hustle and bustle of life to blame, which in my opinion is no excuse at all, but one we both keep on making. She shared something with me today… and my heart bleeds for not having been there for her. I’ve realised, there’s certain things in life one just needs to make the time for… and that’s being there for each other. It’s something we often take for granted, until too late.

This led me to thinking about myself, about the way I handle things and I’ve come to the realisation that within my circle of friends, I have hearts of gold which I treasure and want to protect, always. I sometimes feel like I can do more than I’m capable of doing. There are three very dear women in my life right now who are experiencing some of life’s harshest lessons… and what do I want to do? I want to grab them from their experience, cut them out of this nasty picture and place them somewhere beautiful, painless and unharmful. Do I have the right to do this? Do I have the right to strip them from what life is destined to teach them? Do I have the right to take their pain upon myself? Even if ‘no’ is the answer to all of these questions, I still feel like the mother-hen wanting to protect her little chicks. I seriously do.

Now, I’ve had to endure some of my own pain during my life… and I can certainly say those times I treasure the most as it showed me the beauty of life and taught me what I hold dear today. I know they will achieve the same lessons from their times, but for right now, while they’re hurting… all I want to do is take them away.