Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Ask for it!

Today I’m a little sad because one of my friends are hurting! It’s the sad truth that the greatest lessons in life come from the biggest hurts. I believe that what we go through shapes us into what we meant to become. I know for sure, that I’d never be the person I am today, appreciative and accepting, had I not endured my hurtful yet informative past.

As a woman when in relationships, we tend to lose ourselves, knowingly or unknowingly. We tend to ignore the very important aspects of what make us unique all to please the ones we love. This is wrong. We need to realise who we are completely before we expect the next person to know what we all about. We need to be all-accepting of ourselves, our good attributes and the bad ones. And, most important of all, something all woman are afraid of doing because they risk seeming needy and vulnerable – is asking for what they want!

Over time I’ve come to terms with the fact that no one will ever know what I’m feeling, not completely that is. With this being so, how can I expect that someone else, perhaps my loved one or partner to know what I need? The only way they would know is if I told them, or expressed what I needed. And, lo and behold, most times they are only to happy to give or provide you with the necessary. So, today I’d like to say to all woman out there… ask for what you want, put in your order, request it from the Universe and you will receive it. For just like any one else in this world, we all deserve to be happy, loved and fulfilled!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Embracing change

Wow! Wow! Wow! Is all I can say for the way I’m feeling lately! Utterly amazing!

It was my 27th birthday on 19 June 2008, but the day before was certainly one for the books! One I’ll always want to remember and one I can’t wait to tell my own little ones some day! Raafiek, my boyfriend, planned the most beautiful surprise ever! I was under the impression we were going out for supper, but just before leaving we popped in at his place… my gosh! I’ll never be able to explain the way I felt at that moment. I couldn’t believe that someone had gone out of their way for me in that manner! What I saw was breathtaking… with the lights dimmed, there I stood in a room filled with candles, everywhere! On the ground was a candlelit walkway laced with sea shells and rose petals leading to a table for two while Tamia’s – My Man Finally Came Along played in the background. And, that was certain - My Man Finally Did Come Along! Behind one of the chairs stood my dear Raafiek waiting for me to be seated. We had a wonderful three-course meal: Creamy mushroom soup for starters, steak and chicken chow mein as the main course and fruit salad with fresh cream for desert. After supper I was led to follow three cards placed around the room, each of them A4 with a note from him… his feelings, our time and our future. When I got to the third card, I was so shocked! On it stated: “Will you marry me?” When I turned around to look for him, there he was on bended knee with the ring in his hand! Ohmigosh! It was such a sweet moment! I said: “Yes, of course I’ll marry you!” and kissed and hugged him! What a wonderful moment!

Then spot-on 12 o’clock, with our own made-up tradition, my friend Fouzia called to wish me happy birthday! I was elated to hear from her! And, she gave me such a beautiful gift, a soft, cushy, deep pink gown which I opened while on the phone with her. Shukran Fouzie! For everything! You certainly are a treasure!

Thereafter, my weekend was filled with trying to finish final arrangements, getting the last gifts and sorting out everything for my engagement to Raafiek and my Mommy’s 50th Celebration. Late nights, lots of caffeine and help form everywhere was the order of the day… and what made the moments something to look back on. Most nights, or should I say mornings, I went to bed at 4 trying to finish my dress, a pale green skirt and corset top I designed for the special occasion.

My grandmother, Aya flew in from Johannesburg to share in the special day with us. And, my family and I got a lovely surprise on Friday morning, the day after my birthday when my aunt and uncle from Joburg rocked up on our doorstep! It was like a movie scene when they called to say we should open the door. There they stood, in the rain, under an umbrella! I was blown away & felt really special that they made all that effort to come and share in our day! My mom & dad, aunt and uncle, took over from there and turned the engagement into an even more special event… lacing everything with sunflowers and butterflies… my favourite! They are all special to me and I’m really glad to have them in my life!

Well, well, among all the craziness, time didn’t stand still… and so, the final deciding moment came… a long awaited moment I must add! I got dressed, and yippee, my outfit was just perfect, got my head piece ready, which my cousins were dear enough to help with, finished my make-up and ready I was to pledge to marry Raafiek Burton! A man that has brought much happiness, contentment and peace to my soul! My gosh, I was so nervous! I didn’t even realise until my cousin Nadia told me I was shaking! Hehe :)

Anyhoo, my friend Waheed made the opening dua and on the proceedings went. During the entire ceremony I held my Dad’s hand, for whom my getting engaged has not been easy. I understand where he’s coming from. He may think he’s going to lose me, but that will never be with the grace of Allah, Insha-Allah. He’s not losing at all, he’s gaining so much more… another son… and one day Insha-Allah, some beautiful grandchildren. :) Oh Allah, please put Your protective hand over my Mommy & Daddy… and keep them safe. Thereafter, my Dad put the ring on my finger… and friends and family came to congratulate us. Was a beautiful moment I’ll always treasure. Shukran for making it happen Oh Allah! Algamdulilah! I am very thankful! Raafiek and I then exchanged gifts.

Thereafter, we feasted on so many deserts and cake and just mingled around with everyone. I wanted to make the day special for my Mommy too, so we made a video clip of her lifetime from her early days to the present… the family sat around and watched it while everyone was in jitters of laughter as they sat back and reminisced a time gone by… and within those moments remembered how far they have come and how thankful they are for what they now possess in the present. It certainly is evident that life cannot progress if we do not embrace change! We need to feel comfortable with change and allow things to pass by when their time has expired. Only in doing so, can we steer the way forward and move to days on which the sun can shine on our dreams and aspirations as we make possible exactly what we meant to be and become.

I am very happy! I’ve grown so much and learnt so much. I still learn each day and I try to see further than meets the eye to ensure I make the right choices and decisions in my life. Even in doing so, I know sometimes we need to allow ourselves to let go. That’s always been my biggest problem. But, I’m learning. I never wanted things to change, because in that moment I felt successful, afraid that if something was different it would open up the door to failure, or atleast the prospect of it. Little did in know, that my perception of failure was entirely up to me… as my failures could sometimes be little miracles to a lesson I desperately need. I’m no longer afraid. Firstly, my faith is in Allah, who owns everything I may deem as mine in this lifetime. Allah will give and take away and I will be satisfied… I’ve accepted. And, whatever may come, I’ll fight my resistance to keep things as they are and embrace the necessary change to lead me into the future.

I want to thank everyone who played their own special part in making my and Raafiek’s engagement as well as my Mom’s 50th Celebration such a wonderful success. The day was truly spectacular filled with memories to last a lifetime! May Allah bless you all and place in your path the much-needed change to make you bloom into the beautiful flower you’re meant to be!

For more pictures, see
The Engagement of Raafiek & Shaheema

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Farewell 26

So, today is my last and final day of being 26. And, what a year it has been!
Between 24 and 25, I had my heart broken in more ways than I care to imagine! And, that was a life lesson I’ll never forget! I learnt so much during that time… which prepared me for what I now have and experience in my life. When I turned 26, I was a new person, no longer the woman who just ventured around, meandering about the earth with no vision in sight. I was finally me! I finally knew who I was and what I wanted from this life. If there was anything I was more afraid of, it was change. I hated change. I loved things to stay the way they were. But, when I sat back and realised that the very thing I hated so greatly was exactly what was holding me back, I decided to make a change. I ventured into my fears… and heavily forced myself to walk the plains I terribly feared. I had to learn to open myself up again, to open up my heart and to allow whatever is meant to happen, to happen. It was never an easy task… and today it still is not. I constantly need to remind myself to let things be and to accept that changes that come. And, today, I stand here, so proudly. I’ve faced my biggest fear in this moment in time. I’ve allowed myself to become who I’m meant to be… and I’m still working hard at it… and, I’ve let go of the need to control and allow life’s beauty and pleasures to flow my way. And, be that as it may… I’m very happy now. I feel fulfilled and content.

26 was a wonderful time… a time when I let myself fall in love again… with someone who I really want to spend the rest of my life with. His name is Raafiek. A man so patient, it is incomprehensible. I guess that’s what I love the most about him. Through him, I’ve grown as he accepts me just as I am, yet knows the prospects of what I’m meant to be and pushes me towards it. The past year in his presence was and is amazing… and what was more beautiful than anything was that when we met, I was a whole person – me – the person I finally got to know and learn. A person he complements so beautifully and gracefully. We’ll be taking a big step soon – together. We getting engaged in four days time and I can’t wait!

Today, I want to thank all those very close and dear one’s (Mommy, Daddy, Ashraf, Raafiek, Shahieda, Nadia, Gakiema, Melissa, Imtithaal, Fouzia and Nadia D) who stood by me through the hard times and to those very same people, who still stand by me today through the good times. And, as I embark on the next phase of my life… a life with new lesson’s to be learnt, new things to experience and a new kind of happiness I know not of, I want to thank them in advance… as I know that they’ll be no place else, but by my side – as before – all the way! The trust here is immeasurable!

Looking forward to 27, where opportunity comes to life! I’ll make sure of it!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Happy Birthday Mom!

Well today is my mom's Birthday... the woman who has stood by through all the trials and tribulations in my life... how could i not be thankful! She has watched me grown from a little girl into a beautiful woman who has learnt to appreciate the beauty of life, what it brings and how to always be thankful for what she has. My mother has always, and will always be the cornerstone of my life!

Of our relationship: Good things take time. It's not always easy to open up to someone and show them your heart... but I managed to fight the resistance and today we share a beautiful relationship built on love, trust and honour. I thank Allah each day for placing her in my life... and my wonderful dad as well who has been nothing but supportive and accepting all my life. It was his birthday two days ago... and I can't help but say a big SHUKRAN TO ALLAH for honouring me with the presence of two of the most important and influential people in my life! I'm truly blessed!

And, as I venture on what will be the stepping stone of the beginning of my next life... I know my beautiful parents will be right by my side, smiling along and supporting me all the way! What beauty!