Gosh, I feel like I’m all over the place. If it isn’t work, its my studies or running around for wedding goodies. This is all very exciting… I must admit. But, in the same breath, I need to confess… I miss the days of lazing endlessly, not having anything to do at night but chill, or to just relax, let my hair down, have fun and just do plain and simple nothing.
Feels like years ago since I’ve enjoyed that life. The freedom, the joy, the mesmerisation! My life’s moved on so much from that point… to another summit of just trying to get by each day. When did life fill up so much! There just isn’t enough time to do everything and I find myself having to let things go. As my colleague said this morning, something’s gotta give. Although, I’m not used to that. I always try to make things work. I always give my best. I never give up. But, sometimes I guess we have to.
Sometimes I think if we have to let go of things, it makes space for the new. Except, letting go of things is very hard for me, greatly uncomfortable and leaves me feel uneasy for quite a long time. But, I must confess… I’m getting used to letting go… and instead of feeling amiss, I feel the opportunity and the new chances it brings along.
About two weeks back, I lost all my emails. I mean personal emails that I’ve captured and saved for 5 years! Things I’d love to look back on, things I’d love to review to assess my thinking at the time – just generally to look back on. And, I think I’ve gotten so used to being able to look back, that I never really look ahead. So, with the dramatic experience of losing all my mails from friends, family, colleagues, my motivational one’s, my teary one’s, the heart-wrenching ones and all my plea’s for help, guidance, etc., I’ve opened a new door to acceptance. Acceptance that it is just so and so I shall deal with it. It is kind of refreshing actually, to not have those mails to look back on, because they in the past, where they’re meant to be… and the future is uncluttered with more opportunity and space to thrive in new memories and love!
I guess there’s wisdom in everything and a reason why things happen. If my profile never became corrupt and I didn’t lose those emails, I’d forever have them to look back on without ever fully comprehending my present and being able to look ahead to the future! Allah knows best!
Anyhoo, I dunno wot I’m on about today. Just feeling really guilty that I haven’t updated my blog, so please accept my little offering into the fanatical mind of Shaheema!
2 comments:
WOW!! I never actually thought about it like that!! But yes we're letting go every single day & there's a lesson around every corner!! Awesome post sweets!! :)
Awww shukran sweets! yeah, we keep learning! Every single day! Quite exciting times! For you too hey love! Glad to share these crazy times with you! Mwah! xxx
Post a Comment