Embracing change

Wow! Wow! Wow! Is all I can say for the way I’m feeling lately! Utterly amazing!

It was my 27th birthday on 19 June 2008, but the day before was certainly one for the books! One I’ll always want to remember and one I can’t wait to tell my own little ones some day! Raafiek, my boyfriend, planned the most beautiful surprise ever! I was under the impression we were going out for supper, but just before leaving we popped in at his place… my gosh! I’ll never be able to explain the way I felt at that moment. I couldn’t believe that someone had gone out of their way for me in that manner! What I saw was breathtaking… with the lights dimmed, there I stood in a room filled with candles, everywhere! On the ground was a candlelit walkway laced with sea shells and rose petals leading to a table for two while Tamia’s – My Man Finally Came Along played in the background. And, that was certain - My Man Finally Did Come Along! Behind one of the chairs stood my dear Raafiek waiting for me to be seated. We had a wonderful three-course meal: Creamy mushroom soup for starters, steak and chicken chow mein as the main course and fruit salad with fresh cream for desert. After supper I was led to follow three cards placed around the room, each of them A4 with a note from him… his feelings, our time and our future. When I got to the third card, I was so shocked! On it stated: “Will you marry me?” When I turned around to look for him, there he was on bended knee with the ring in his hand! Ohmigosh! It was such a sweet moment! I said: “Yes, of course I’ll marry you!” and kissed and hugged him! What a wonderful moment!


Then spot-on 12 o’clock, with our own made-up tradition, my friend Fouzia called to wish me happy birthday! I was elated to hear from her! And, she gave me such a beautiful gift, a soft, cushy, deep pink gown which I opened while on the phone with her. Shukran Fouzie! For everything! You certainly are a treasure!

Thereafter, my weekend was filled with trying to finish final arrangements, getting the last gifts and sorting out everything for my engagement to Raafiek and my Mommy’s 50th Celebration. Late nights, lots of caffeine and help form everywhere was the order of the day… and what made the moments something to look back on. Most nights, or should I say mornings, I went to bed at 4 trying to finish my dress, a pale green skirt and corset top I designed for the special occasion.

My grandmother, Aya flew in from Johannesburg to share in the special day with us. And, my family and I got a lovely surprise on Friday morning, the day after my birthday when my aunt and uncle from Joburg rocked up on our doorstep! It was like a movie scene when they called to say we should open the door. There they stood, in the rain, under an umbrella! I was blown away & felt really special that they made all that effort to come and share in our day! My mom & dad, aunt and uncle, took over from there and turned the engagement into an even more special event… lacing everything with sunflowers and butterflies… my favourite! They are all special to me and I’m really glad to have them in my life!


Well, well, among all the craziness, time didn’t stand still… and so, the final deciding moment came… a long awaited moment I must add! I got dressed, and yippee, my outfit was just perfect, got my head piece ready, which my cousins were dear enough to help with, finished my make-up and ready I was to pledge to marry Raafiek Burton! A man that has brought much happiness, contentment and peace to my soul! My gosh, I was so nervous! I didn’t even realise until my cousin Nadia told me I was shaking! Hehe :)


Anyhoo, my friend Waheed made the opening dua and on the proceedings went. During the entire ceremony I held my Dad’s hand, for whom my getting engaged has not been easy. I understand where he’s coming from. He may think he’s going to lose me, but that will never be with the grace of Allah, Insha-Allah. He’s not losing at all, he’s gaining so much more… another son… and one day Insha-Allah, some beautiful grandchildren. :) Oh Allah, please put Your protective hand over my Mommy & Daddy… and keep them safe. Thereafter, my Dad put the ring on my finger… and friends and family came to congratulate us. Was a beautiful moment I’ll always treasure. Shukran for making it happen Oh Allah! Algamdulilah! I am very thankful! Raafiek and I then exchanged gifts.


Thereafter, we feasted on so many deserts and cake and just mingled around with everyone. I wanted to make the day special for my Mommy too, so we made a video clip of her lifetime from her early days to the present… the family sat around and watched it while everyone was in jitters of laughter as they sat back and reminisced a time gone by… and within those moments remembered how far they have come and how thankful they are for what they now possess in the present. It certainly is evident that life cannot progress if we do not embrace change! We need to feel comfortable with change and allow things to pass by when their time has expired. Only in doing so, can we steer the way forward and move to days on which the sun can shine on our dreams and aspirations as we make possible exactly what we meant to be and become.

I am very happy! I’ve grown so much and learnt so much. I still learn each day and I try to see further than meets the eye to ensure I make the right choices and decisions in my life. Even in doing so, I know sometimes we need to allow ourselves to let go. That’s always been my biggest problem. But, I’m learning. I never wanted things to change, because in that moment I felt successful, afraid that if something was different it would open up the door to failure, or atleast the prospect of it. Little did in know, that my perception of failure was entirely up to me… as my failures could sometimes be little miracles to a lesson I desperately need. I’m no longer afraid. Firstly, my faith is in Allah, who owns everything I may deem as mine in this lifetime. Allah will give and take away and I will be satisfied… I’ve accepted. And, whatever may come, I’ll fight my resistance to keep things as they are and embrace the necessary change to lead me into the future.


I want to thank everyone who played their own special part in making my and Raafiek’s engagement as well as my Mom’s 50th Celebration such a wonderful success. The day was truly spectacular filled with memories to last a lifetime! May Allah bless you all and place in your path the much-needed change to make you bloom into the beautiful flower you’re meant to be!

For more pictures, see

The Engagement of Raafiek & Shaheema