Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Ramadaan

Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatu

This, our last day in this most blessed month of Ramadaan and with tears and sadness we bid farewell to Ramadaan and ask Allah to give each and every one of us the opportunity to see another Ramadaan, Insha-Allah, Ameen.

May Allah grant us the ability to live the rest of the year as we have during this month, Insha- Allah. Don't forget those who passed on in your dua’s, as soon, they will be returning to their kabr, may Allah grant them Jannatul-Firdous, Insha-Allah, Ameen. To the sick, may Allah grant them shifaa, Insha-Allah.

I would hereby like to take this opportunity to ask Maaf for anything I might have done, said or implied, that may have hurt you in any way, intentionally or unintentionally. And to those who have stood by me, supported me, those who offered me strength when I was weak and to those whose shoulders I have soaked with my tears, I make Shukr. I make dua that Allah grant you the best in this world and the hereafter Insha-Allah, Ameen. May Allah have mercy on us, may He reward our efforts and may He guide us all today and always Insha-Allah, Ameen.

My dua for you for the last day of Ramadaan and always ~

May Allah weigh your Ibadat in gold, Ameen.
May Allah shower you with His infinite Blessings, Ameen.
May Allah cover your entire soul and bless your heart with the barakah of dua’s, Ameen.
May Allah grant and shower you with Imaan, Noor, Sabr, Health, Happiness, Wealth from this Ramadaan until the next, Ameen.
May all your Good Deeds, Hearts Desires and Dua’s be accepted and granted in this Blessed Month, Ameen.
May all your sins be forgiven, Ameen.
Oh Allah forgive the deceased and shower their kuboors with Noor, Ameen.
Oh Allah give strength to those who are weak, Ameen.
Oh Allah guide us on the right path, keep us in Imaan always and fill our hearts with Noor, Sabr, Piety and Humbleness, Ameen.

May Allah....
Take us under His wing and ease our pain,
make light our heart,
accept all our supplication,
accept our effort,
That He draw us close to Him,
That He protects us and sustains us,
That He grants us success in this world and in the next,
That He saves us from the torment of the fire,
and on that day of which there is no doubt,
that He enrols us among the righteous,
and that He places us in the shade of His Arsh,
and that He gives us the honour of drinking from the well of Kauthar, from the hands of our beloved Nabi Muhammad (S.A.W),
and that He allows us to enter Jannah from whichever door we please,
Insha-Allah, Ameen!

Al Widaa, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Ramadaan, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Siyaam, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Maghfirah, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Taraweeh, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Suhur, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Iftaar, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Layla Tul Qadr, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru I’tikaaf…

"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain the bonds of kinship." (Bukhari)

May we all use this day to unite broken family ties and bonds of friendship. If the beginning of Ramadan is Mercy, its middle Forgiveness, and it’s ending Liberation from the Hellfire; its aftermath should be Thankfulness. Therefore we should be thankful for all we have and always spare a thought for those less fortunate than ourselves whose daily existence could be a continuous fast.

May I take this opportunity to wish all of you a Happy, Peaceful and Blessed Eid – ul – Fitr Insha-Allah. Have a joyous day in the company of your friends and families, Insha-Allah, Ameen and I'm so looking forward to seeing you all.

A month of inspiration

I can’t believe we nearing the end, how fast the time has moved. This blessed month has certainly been a great inspiration to me, my husband and family. May Allah continue to shower his choicest blessings on all of us as we strive to reach His pleasure and perfection.

In my last post, I mentioned I was going to blog about the tests Allah put forward. That feelings have since passed, my heart feels at ease and stronger, so I’d just like to make a special duah for the youth of our Ummah. May Allah steadfastly guide them to the Siraatal-Mustaqeem, give Noor to their thoughts so they make respectful decisions and may Allah continuously have mercy for their shortcomings and that of ours, Insha-Allah, Ameen.

The sadness in my heart right now cannot be described. This month brings with it such joy, such unity and a great feeling of peace and contentment. I met a wonderful lady in that masjied one Taraweegh. Coincidently, we’ve been fortunate to stand next to each other on many nights. And when we part ways there’s always an affectionate greeting and a sincere “go well”. For some reason, she just stood out. Then, the weekend came, I happened to see her in a mall as we were waiting for the store to open. She walked up to me and I started chatting to her. Told her I remember her from the masjied, and so started a beautiful friendship. She told me about her kids, who are more of less my age, we shopped together for a while before we parted.

Each night we shared a bit more of ourselves with each other… and I eventually met her two daughters as well. This one night, out of the blue… she asked: “Are you married to Raafiek?” I said, “Yes.” The she started smiling. At this time I was rather intrigued. Turns out Raafiek used to frequent their home as one of the daughters studied with him, and that’s why she looked familiar to me because we all studied at the same place. What a small world hey! She then told me to tell Raafiek to bring me by on Eid, Insha-Allah. I’m so looking forward to it. And, over and above all that coincidences, we share the same hobby, our love for creating clothing. I’m so excited to see them, Insha-Allah, Ameen.

Laylatul Qadr was an eventful night as well. I failed to remember the masjied will be rather full this evening, so Raafiek and I left our usual time, and of course the masjied was packed, so we ventured on to another masajied. Taraweegh salaah went well, until afterwards when the imaam recited “Al Widaa Ya Ramadaan”. It wasn’t until then that I realised how few days we had left. The sincerity in his voice brought tears to my eyes. How fast the month has gone. Algamdulilah through the grace and mercy of Allah I have managed to finish my Gatam and to experience the night of Laylatul-Qadr in masajied.

After Taraweegh, we came home for a little nap and then at 00:00 picked up my cousin Raihaana and headed to Masjidul Quds. This has been the ritual of myself and Raafiek ever since we’ve met. Hence, we chose that particular masjied to get married in. We listened to some melodious Qiraah, made Salaatul Layl and Salaatul Tasbeegh. The evening was long, but good. We dropped Raihaana off around 05:00 and then headed on home to sowr.

Needless to say, later at work I could barely keep my eyes open, but it was well worth it. Raafiek, Raihaana and I were debating about the evening of Laylatul Qadr and the weather. It is said that the Night of Power is a peaceful, quiet evening with a slight breeze. The 27th was a blistering cold and windy night. We recalled the 25th evening which was a truly spectacular evening and last night Ray sms’ed to say it was another beautiful evening… hmmm… one has to wonder hey. The beauty and signs of Allah are so amazing!

As the month nears end and Eid arrives, it will be Little Zaara’s First Eid. I got her a cute little white and silver dressy… and small teeny ballet pumps to go with it. I still need to make her silver flowers to put on the shoes… oh and get her that lacy headband. She’s gonna look too Masha-Allah,Insha-Allah, Ameen! She really is such a treasure and blessing to our family! Shukran Allah.

The hype of Eid has started to take precedence in the house. My dear hubby has been up and about painting and fixing what needs to be fixed. I sorted out the curtain and bedding department. We are so thrilled for the change. Spiritually, we have grown together, Algamdulilah and have set new goals for the year ahead Insha-Allah, Ameen! May Allah continue to guide myself and Raafiek, strengthen our bond and forever keep us close to the Mercy of Allah, Insha-Allah, Ameen.

With love, I depart. I wish you all well for the last day of Ramadaan and may Allah accept our supplications, Insha-Allah, Ameen!

15th Ramadaan

Oh my! How time has flown! Algamdulilah, we on the 15th day of Ramadaan already, half way… Masha-Allah. As they say… it’s all downhill from here.

With all intentions to blog daily, that was just not possible, but Algamdulilah, Allah knows best and the memories live on. Just some highlights over the past few days… I had a test from Allah around the 3rd and 5th of Ramadaan, but I think I did well. I’ll blog about that later in an entry titled, “Allah tests…”. Those were thought-provoking nights, that left me with tears. Tears only for the pure ignorance and disrespect some have for our beautiful Creator. But, Insha-Allah, one can but only hope.

On the 11th Ramadaan, with reference to the number 11 being my and Raafiek’s wedding date, we had our first alone Ramadaan boeka. Was quite nice! We had a candlelit boeka. Raafiek made some chicken and mushroom soup, I fried samoosas and made some flapjacks with fresh cream, strawberry jam and fresh strawberries. It was so nice, I’ll post some pics at a later stage.

Just something I’d like to share with you. Last night, coinciding with the 15th Taraweegh, we recited the 18th Joos. The imaam made reference to some ayaats which were recited. He was explaining the darajah of Janaat and espoused on the qualities and character one should have to be able to attain the highest of darajah in Janaat, that being Janahtul-Firdous. Some of those qualities include the following: to attain complete humility in your supplications and prayer to Allah, to abstain from sin – and zina being the most important thus protecting what which is between your mouth and your legs, as that is the highest form of sin in the eyes of Allah, to give Zakaah, that being 2.5% of your earnings – apparently it is the most neglected of the five Pillars of Islam. There were another two qualites the imaam mentioned, but my memory eludes me.

Well, that’s all I have time for today. Mubarak for the 15th day of Ramadaan. May Allah forever guide and protect us Insha-Allah and may we live up to what He wishes from His faithful servants. Fee-Amanilah – I leave you in the trust of Almighty Allah. Wasalaam.

Some humour:

Allah makes easy…

Algamduliah, the first day of Ramadaan went really well. Must admit I had a few trying times and towards the end of the day suffered from severe headache, but Allah makes easy all the trials we come across.

My first boeka as a married woman was more special than I could ever have imagined. Raafiek and I spoke for years about this night, and now it was finally happening. We shared this moment with my mommy (who cooked up a lovely feast), my daddy, brother, Liezel and my niece, Little Zaara.

Last night, we got to the mosque just in time for Eshaa salaah. I was delayed by Zaara whom I hadn’t seen in a week and how my heart yearned to hold her once more. So, I had to take advantage of the time. Tonight, the mosque was filled to capacity once more, so much so that I couldn’t even get in. I spotted the space in the front row and just before Eshaa salaah commenced, I asked the ladies if I could stand in that space. Another lady accompanied me. And, so Taraweegh 2 played out.

I struggled a bit. I was exhausted, must’ve been as a result of the headache, but Algamdulilah, I pushed on through. Guess we all did. It’s not an easy task, perhaps some nights are easier than most, but we do it for the pleasure of our Almighty Creator whom we owe so much, and there’s so much we need to thank Him for.

En route home all I could think about was getting into bed. We decided 21:30 was a good time. When we arrived at home we felt like having a tad of mom’s butter chicken and then head on to bed. Mom was tired with backache and so I got busy in the kitchen cleaning up for her. I laid her table for suhoor for the next morning and finally got into bed around 22:15. Raafiek and I lay chatting till past 23:00 reciting Surahs from the Qur'aan till we fell asleep – Algamdulilah. What a beautiful first day of Ramadaan.

OH ALLAH, on this day make my fasts the fasts of those who fast (sincerely), and my standing up in prayer of those who stand up in prayer (obediently), awaken me from the sleep of the heedless, and forgive me my sins. Oh God of the Worlds, forgive me, oh One who forgives the sinners.

1st Taraweegh of 2010

When I initially started this blog, I had all intentions of detailing the feelings within. To one day look back upon this time and relive it all. I must admit, the daily grind has been getting the better of me and my life has become far busier than I could ever have imagined. Busy with all my dreams and hopes is never wasted time. Today, I took a breather, leaned back in my chair and decided to take in the moment. So, as Ramadaan is on my doorstep, I’ve decided to diarise my thoughts, feelings and emotions through this historic time. I hope you’ll enjoy and travel along with me.

With Ramadaan, a sense of peace fills my soul. I begin to think of all I used to achieve in this month… my efforts to get closer to Allah, my appreciation for His beauty all around, my utter thankfulness for all He has graced me with and unity you feel with every Muslim aiming to achieve Allah’s pleasure.

I left work today and passed an old colleague who asked me to pray for him. I had to smile. I asked him to do the same. On my return home, there was the obvious notion that something big was about to overcome us. So, I just let it happen. My heart overjoyed and when hubby returned home, I could see in his eye, he was having the very same feeling. We rushed on to get ready for masjied, for tonight was the first Taraweegh of Ramadaan 2010, and we didn’t want to miss it. We did the ritual bathing (ghusl) which cleanses not only your body, but your soul in preparation for this month of sacrifice. We had a bite to eat, then headed on to the masjied, a feeling of utter contentment filled us. We chatted about how going to Taraweegh has become a compulsory act for us both, and I secretly thank Allah for honouring me with someone who truly understands my heart, as I understand his.

While walking to the masjied, we noticed all the cars outside and decided we need to leave atleast 15 minutes earlier tomorrow. On arrival, I could not see a space in sight. I just took one step in, turned myself to face kiblah (the direction of Makkah), and started my prayer. We just made it in time. Note to self again, we have to leave earlier tomorrow.

The girl standing next to me kept moving up a bit. Guess she noticed I was a bit uncomfortable standing right up against the door, but I had no other option at the time… as salaah had already started and I couldn’t interrupt the musallies. We completed Eshaa prayer, I spotted an opening in the front row and asked her to join me there. We excused ourselves and headed to the first row to start Taraweegh salaah. Taraweegh is a 20 raka’ah (segment) devotion to Allah where a chapter of the Qur’aan is read throughout the 20 raka’ahs.

The melodic sounds of the Qari reciting from the Qur’aan pierced straight into my heart. I was reminded again of my desire to get closer to Allah. To always act in a manner that pleases him. To only live for His honour and to be forever thankful for what Allah has placed in my life, be it good or bad, hard or easy, suffering or pleasure. Fee-Amanilah, my trust if forever with Allah.

Standing close against the sister beside me, my heart revered the harmony between us both as we stood before our Creator. In the last raka’ah I was shaken by the tearful voice of the Qari. Reciting with such sincerity, I could hear sniffles in the rows behind me. He had brought many to tears as they all understood and felt the sanctity of the month of Ramadaan. How can one not be moved?

After salaah, the imaam gave a short Naseegha and funny enough he mentioned the very thing Raafiek and I had chatted about on the way to the masjied. He said: “Inna akmaloe bie niyyah. Your actions are as good as your intentions.” In essence he was expressing that what you set out to achieve in this holy month is exactly what you get out. If you set out to go to Taraweegh for the first few days, that is exactly what you will do. If you set out to recite the Qur’aan sporadically, that is exactly what you will achieve. If you set out to achieve high goals in this month, and having tried relentlessly to achieve it and still not being able to, you will be rewarded in full, as if you have completed your intention.

When I left, I greeted the sister beside me and wished her well for the month ahead. Waiting outside for hubby, we chatted about our experience and what we’d like to achieve this month as we walked to the car. On arriving at home, I rushed to greet Mom and Dad. I’m thankful Allah spared all of us to enter and experience this Ramadaan, Insha-Allah, Ameen.

Last night, Raafiek and I prepared our home and got the table settings ready for our first suhoor together. This morning as I recited a bit trying to complete Chapter 1 of the Holy Qur’aan, Raafiek got our breakfast ready. We sat down, prayed Fajr together and serenely entered our first day of Ramadaan.

To all my family and friends, may Allah grant you all your heart wishes this Ramadaan and always. May you achieve what you set out to do and may you forever be close to the Ragmah of Allah. I wish you well, Insha-Allah, Ameen.

If you’d like to leave a comment, please visit: www.smooches777.blogspot.com and leave your comment under the appropriate post. Many thanks / Shukran.

I am tagged…

So, Shahieda tagged me. These were the rules:

1. Go to your photo files… select the 8th photo folder
2. Select the 8th photo in that folder
3. Post that photo along with the story behind it
4. Then challenge 8 friends to do the same.

I tried to do this. But, as you all know, when it comes to pictures, my sanity leaves me and I become a slave to the camera. Firstly, choosing the actual file to use was a complicated mess, Shahieda knows all about it, but anyhoo… for a number of reasons I prefer not to get into right now… can’t let on how crazy I am... But, its okay, they know me here!

Here’s the picture which classified as truly the 8th folder and truly the 8th picture of MY pictures. And, sorry, i cheated a bit, couldn't resist adding some of my other favourites.


Oh! What a trip down memory lane. This is by far one of my most memorable and fun days. It was filled with serenity, calmness and a kind of contentment I could never explain. The day dawned beautiful, crisp fresh air, sunshine to melt hearts and I had 3 of my closest buddies with me.

This was shortly after I bought my car, so I picked them all up late on a Sunday morning, we headed to Nando’s for lunch. Lunch was good, perfect company, what more could one ask for. Thereafter, we took a scenic drive down the very well-known Cape Town attraction, Chapman’s Peak. I was having so much fun. The day was very chilled. Just relaxed and I enjoyed the time with the friends dear to me.


Not seen in the picture, is Abbas Regal. We met in my first year at Technikon. Quite a memorable year that was, as I also met my husband-to-be, Raafiek that year… but little did I know. Anyhoo, Abbas and I were really close friends, being 9 years older than me, I sought endless advice from him and we helped each other along difficult times our paths brought forward.

Nadia Dollie, seen on the right of me, funny enough, I also met in my first year at Technikon. She claims I looked rather lonely on campus the first day, so she couldn’t help but want to take me out of my misery. Hehe… so started a wonderful friendship. We spent many a day with each other, chatted, laughed and once again, were always there for each other. When we turned 25, we held a big bash together to celebrate the Quarter Century of our lives. Why do I always over-analyse things… just dawned on me… we kept the party 11 days from my birthday and 11 days to her birthday… and my wedding date was also the 11th – blessings in disguise hey. I miss Nadia, we haven’t seen each other in a while, and recently she’s ventured a lot into my thoughts.

Then there’s Imtithaal Dawood (then Philander), seen on my left. We met through work and immediately took a liking to each other. Before we knew it, we were out together at lunch, then weekends. We ventured along many paths together, from trying to build our spirituality, motivating each other, encouraging each other, to flying to the moon. (yip, even that!) We did so much together. Shared so much. She was there for me always, and we constantly kept in touch and abreast of what was happening in each other’s lives. We still do today, although we don’t see each other as often, the bond is still there. We’ve grown together in so many ways and I’m dearly thankful for having her in my life.

Back to the day... later we took a blanky out of the car, laid it down on the ground facing the ocean (what a breathtaking view!)… and the four of us lay, just chatting for hours till sunset came. We then took a slow Sunday drive home… everyone by themselves, left with the thought of a day truly light, refreshing and filled with the kind of friendship only existing between the four of us.

What a day!



The 8 friends I’m tagging are:

• Zenobia Langford
• Imtithaal Dawood
• Nadia Dollie
• Gakiema Ganie
• Shireen Burton
• Fouzia Sayed
• Tamlyn van der Horst
• Ruwayda Abrahams

Please do this and send your responses to shaheema.albertyn@gmail.com

I look forward to reading.

Have a fabulous weekend!

To Love Bellydancing

Today, after being frantically busy trying to complete my Economics assignment due tomorrow... yes, i know, LastMinute.com. Anyhoo, i decided to take a break and checked my gmail account.

I came across an email from my bellydancing lecturer announcing a competition. For 3 people who write the most inspiring short essay on why they love bellydancing, will receive two tickets to an event she performs at tomorrow eve! Oh boy, i so need that break-away! And, would love to see her perform again, as she did so glamourously at my Bridal Shower in October last year.

Below, my offering. Please hold thumbs! xxx

Also, please let me know your thoughts, and if you think my poem cuts the grade at all.

Happy shimmying!

My Darling Husband

"A woman's happiness does not come through man's glory and honour, nor through his generosity and affection, but through love that unites both of their hearts and affections, making them one member of life's body and one word upon the lips of God."
- Kahlil Gibran

My dear angel… each and every day I thank Allah for gracing me with your presence. A presence filled with happiness, love and laughter. A heart filled with hope, memory and anticipation. A life filled with togetherness, nurturing and growing dreams.

I often have to pinch myself – I still can’t believe I’m married to the man of my dreams and so, so much more than I could ever have imagined. You are to me the air I breath – night and day, the pounding of my heart as each second goes by, the touch of an angel.

Shukran for everything thing you do for me Raafiek… I wish you only life’s very best as you deserve the most exquisite, I wish you cloudy skies on a sunny day because I know you can’t stand the heat, I wish the ease of fulfilling your innermost dreams and desires, I wish for you the omnipresence of mushrooms, so they’re available to satisfy your every craving, I wish you all the beautiful fish your heart craves, the rushing waves you love to see, the fresh air along the coast, the indulgence in your creamy chicken & mushroom pasta you so love to make and I wish you endless days with me as I continuously endeavour to bring smiles to your heart, mind and soul.

I love you Raafiek, with everything in me. Happy Birthday my angel!

Love,
Your Wife.

100 days!

Hey, hey, hey!! So, we’ve reached a benchmark, I think. 100 days, and boy did the time fly. Its been an amazing time of joy, love, discovery, enlightenment, happiness and new-found contentment.

Up for another 100 days??

I made it!

So many resolutions, so many ideas, so many ambitions, so little time. Well, atleast I started doing one of them. And, that was to get my booty in shape.

Yesterday, en route home, I had every intention of getting home and jumping on the treadmill in an excited fashion to finally do what I know my body so desperately needs. Shoo, it’s been more than a year since I’ve exercised. Moving office was a bad idea, since then my walking time has been cut tremendously.

Anyhoo, no complaints. One must make-do with the situation at hand. So, as I neared home, sluggishness set it and the thought of the treadmill was floating away along with it. Getting out of the car, finally at home… my every intention had veered from seriously jumping onto the treadmill, to seriously jumping into bed.

Barely able to hold my laptop bag, much less move my feet transporting my body to bed, I saw my mom… whizzing away of the treadmill, looking overly energised and proud. I smiled and said. I was going to do that and before I could mention the word, sleep, my mom said: “Come, you up next!” I couldn’t deny the enthusiasm… Shukran MOM!

And, that was all the motivation I needed. So, I put my goodies down with some renewed energy and changed into my gym gear… something that hasn’t seen daylight for almost 18 months. It’s been way too long.

So, my turn came and I headed straight for it. Got on and pushed start, elevation 4 and speed 6. I was on my way. Only planning to do 15 minutes, I managed 20 minutes, walking 2km and losing just under 65 calories. I know its little, short and few, but I’ll get there.

This morning, I am proud to say I managed another 10 minutes, 1.1km, 41 calories and speed 7. Now, just to keep this up and I’ll be well on my way to getting the old Shaheema back… man I miss her. This new bod freaks me out…

3 Months Married!!!

Wowzes! Even I had to take a step back and realize how much my life has changed. And, best of all… I’m loving all the changes, every single one of them as well as getting to know my better half, even better.

So yes, time has passed, lots of time. Sorry, I didn’t know how to make my come-back as a married women… hehe, since I just left everyone out to dry right in the middle, or was it the end… whichever comes first.

Oh well, I’ve decided to forgive myself for not updating my blog as I would have like to, especially as it got closer to the wedding. Not that I needed to write down every thought at the time, I’m sure those memories will stay with me for a long time to come. And, to make up for it… I’ll update wedding stuff and whatever else I’d like to add to my blog – in time. I’ll move back, forward, be in the moment. But, one thing’s for sure, I have to have all the good stuff floating somewhere, in case I get amnesia some day and long for a trip down memory lane.

Jeez, what can I say. I’ve grown so much in so many ways. So much has happened and so much didn’t… hehe. I have new and added responsibility and I’m starting my second semester this month! So, I have to buckle up, it’s going to be a rollercoaster ride once again… and my only thought is “Bring it on!”

To my darling angel: Happy 3 Month Anniversary Snookums! As I said last month: “I’m looking forward to forever with you! Shukran for everything you do!”

And, I guess I should have taken your word Imtithaal… married life sure is busy!

Signing out…
Pledging to update blog more regularly.

Ever realised how far you’ve come?

Have you ever really sat down and thought of how far you’ve come in life? I know I haven’t. I’ve been rushing about, chasing, running, but never really seeing.

A new perspective has taken over my life. I’ve realised, I need to sit down and take time to smell the roses, and as my dad says, see the trees, smell the air, unleash all concern. I think right now I need it more than ever.

I’m about to enter the biggest decision of my life. A life of new beginnings, new moments, breathtaking experiences and most certainly, challenging times as things often tend to be. However, I want to be fully present, alive in each and every moment.

My soul has been such, that I’m forever searching. Searching for growth, new experiences, greater ambitions. Yet, never have I taken stock of the growth I’ve achieved, the experiences that have given birth to wonderful developments in my life, and celebrating the success after having strived so hard.

Just recently, I was faced with an enormous intervention in my life. I knew it was there, all along, always lurking in the background, but never did I want to face it, so I did what I do best, and just kept on paddling like mad.

Until one Sunday, after a busy but restful break with Shahieda and Debbie at the Protea Hotel, I was doing the dishes with Raafiek and we got into chatting. I ended up speaking and it was as if the words couldn’t wait to get out. Right there, my heart was talking. But, this time, was I going to listen, or just ignore it, once again?… go back to being the swan above the waters once more, while I continued to paddle like mad, just as before? Or would I really listen to my heart’s call and step up to relinquishing its turmoil knowing that in this time, long-term memories are born?

I thought about it for days on end. Fought it. Embraced it. Then fought it again. Whatever I did I knew it had to come from me. It had to be my decision… and oh hasn’t it taught me a lot. This year has been rather interesting, very trying but certainly eye-opening and enriching.

In the weeks to come, I learnt that I’m only human, just like everyone else. Some of my friends call me Superwoman, and for a while I even thought so myself. Others believe I’m the calmest person they’ve met, and I may be, but the swan theory comes into play here. Not too long ago, my friend Nadia told me that I should realise how far I’ve come. I realised for a minute or two, but then rushed on anyway. Till it really hit me.

I’ve rushed all my life. Chased. Tried a bit harder. Strived a bit more. Gave a little more effort. But, don’t get me wrong, no regret lives in my heart. For if it wasn’t for that very nature of my own, I certainly would not be where I am today. A place I treasure. And, this follows on from the post titled: “The CAN-DO Girl”. I really know I am. Because, whatever comes my way, I can do! I won’t allow myself otherwise.

But, for now, with the dire need of my heart to enjoy this beautiful moment in my life, I will calm down, even just for a while. I will take in the air of each bright new day, not forget to thank Allah for allowing me the gift of life. I will listen to the birds chirping, smell the roses as I walk through our garden at work, see the clouds, mingle with my fellows and enjoy each and every moment.

I will enjoy this crazy but fun planning time with friends and family. And, as I stand on my wedding day, Insha-Allah (Ameen!) I want to be fully present in that moment, embracing it with every vessel in my body and lounging with its memory throughout my lifetime.

For now, its just me and the air I breathe...

Why do we shout in anger?

I've just received this via email. Thought it so stunning, i had to share it with you!

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

His disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'

'But, why do you shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.

'MORAL' said the saint: 'When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return!'

An ode to my cousin...

Little does she know the impact she’s made. Little does she know how much I appreciate. Little does she know that she is treasured… and little does she know that she means the world to me.

Nadia, my dear cousin, celebrated her birthday yesterday. And, I’d just like to take this moment to thank her for her presence in my life. For ALWAYS going the extra mile and for constantly assisting me, thinking about me and valuing my contribution.

You know couz, we’ve come a long road. And, without a doubt, I hope you know you one of the most important people in my life (if not then now you do hey!). Most often it takes sad moments in our lives before we really appreciate the worth of someone. The day I visited you in hospital was a defining moment for me. I learnt there was so much I wanted you to be part of and my thinking was overshadowed. But I’m a big girl now, and will never let that happen again.


I appreciate and value your presence more than you’ll ever know. Here’s to wishing you life’s very best! May you always walk a path of happiness, contentment and pure bliss. And, when days are dark as life hands us our share, you know I’m the one to call.

Wishing you love, prosperity and utter joyfulness!

Time – an untreasured resource

Does anyone really think of its value? Do you know its true worth in your lifetime? My personal opinion is ‘No’. I think many take time for granted. Many don’t make the most of it… and many don’t give it a fleeting thought.

It is something which just passes by… yet we don’t realise that as each day passes, that’s one day less to make our dreams come true! What have you done today to move closer to your goals? Have you taken the first step? Have you moved forward to your true heart’s intentions? Have you stepped up and headed to where you know you really want to be?

Don’t leave it for tomorrow… for today is now, and now is the only time you have.

"Well, that’s all I managed before my laptop battery died at 23:58. Good thing though since it was pass my bedtime. There’s lots more I wanted to add, but for now I’m sure you get the essence of my intention. I’ll continue again one day when I reach a similar wavelength. Love ya!"

Mother’s Day 2009

There was hustle and bustle in our home on the morning of 10 May 2009. I’m sure you’d think it was 8 o’clock at night… but it was surprisingly 02:00am in the morning.



My Dad, brother and I were getting the card ready… in scripted with a little note from each of us. We bought my Mom a black leather bag (something she’s wanted for a long time) and a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates.


The look on my Mommy’s face when she opened the gift was too cute. Love you Mommy!


It was decided by the cousins that we’d do something different for our Mom’s this year. Usually they have breakfast at one of the sisters’ homes, or the husbands cook for the wives with all the sisters present. Quite a lovely ritual, I think. Having everyone together… and they usually share gifts between each other.

The sisters (Moms)

This means each sister will leave with 7 gifts each… gosh! I how I woudn’t mind that.


So, we took our Moms to Nino’s for breakfast. The view was breathtaking and the morning turned out beautiful considering it was cold and rainy just days before. We ended up being quite a bit of people… shoo!! Was lovely chatting to all the cousins and having all the aunts in one place.

Shahieda & I

Nadia, Raihaana, Shahieda & I

Breakfast was served, delicious! And of course I never went without my cappuccino with fresh cream.

An ode to my Mom:

2 years of love

Time certainly in no friend to anyone. It rushes on by in scuttle but one can’t deny the unmistakable joy and blessings it brings in its fleeting.

It’s been two years! I still can’t believe it… although now, my life filled with love and honour, I could never ask for anything more. I feel content in each moment and so thankful to Allah for gracing me with such splendor, love and beauty.

Ya Allah, forever guide myself and Raafiek so that we will always please You and keep our promise to You Oh Allah, Insha-Allah, Ameen!

The ‘Can Do’ Girl

So, this morning while applying my sky-blue eye-shadow to accompany my sky-blue poloneck and earrings… I took a moment to look at myself. In that moment my head was swarming with thoughts and I realised something. I’m the ‘Can Do’ Girl! Always have been.

When approached with a situation, I never assess whether I can do it, whether I am able to do it or even whether it fits into my current schedule… oh no! My first instinct when approached with a situation is “I Can Do It!”

That attitude has always brought me tremendous hope. It has lifted me on through the years and allowed me the possibility to be where I am today. It has certainly worked for me through many phases in my lifetime.

Being presented with new opportunities, brings new challenges of its own and with it comes the chance to grow. I’ve grown a lot from my experiences in life, the good and the bad. Algamdulilah… Allah has always been right by my side, spurring me on and holding my hand as I walk through those tough and storming moments.

With the new experience my life holds… leading up to my new chapter, I was faced with a situation I’ve never encountered before. A moment in my life when I was at the end of my tether… and with that brought that realisation that I now need to respect myself… just a teeny bit more. To ask myself permission for the things I endeavour, endure and encounter. And, I realised, as a good friend said to me, being able to say no or ask for help is not a weakness. Perhaps, my view point needs to change around that. I now believe it is a blessing… a blessing in that you allow another to share in the moment with you.

We all in life for a reason. We all here to build each other up. To please each other. To bring happiness to each other… and to help each other along the path of life. And with this comes my thanks… to all who love me, support me and wish me well… THANK YOU!

Because right now, right here… I’m EXACTLY where I’m meant to be… right here in all this madness fighting my way through and sharing my thoughts and this moment with YOU.

A little breathing space…

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed, I guess. I’ve always thought of myself as a capable being able to handle anything. But, lately, I’ve been reminded of my own mortality. A mere mortal, frail, fallible, vulnerable.

I must say it really was a harsh awakening. But, I’m getting there. Had a productive chat with Raafiek last night. I just don’t like what I sound like these days. This clearly is not me. I feel like I’ve lost my spunk, my spark! Shaheema, where is she gone to?

Where’s Shaheema? The girl who always fights for what she wants. I’m literally like a swan… calm above the waters (that’s how everyone sees me)… but underwater, I’m paddling like mad!

I spoke my heart out to Raafiek last night… lately, I’m just questioning everything. I don’t feel like i’m in the right place, I’m completely out of sync, completely in the wrong space, maybe even the wrong job.

Why do I lack the courage to follow my heart? But, that’s where it gets complicated. Following your heart doesn’t always amount to the right choice or the ability to get on with your present life with the same standard. I guess that’s where sacrifice comes in hey!

My studies are driving me completely insane… I mean really! I’ve never felt like giving up on something… especially once I’ve started it already! And, I must say, the thought of dropping this crosses my mind almost 10 times a day… and I keep fighting it. Raafiek – always my voice of reason reminding me why and Shahieda always prompting me that I can do it.

I’m having doubts about actually posting this post. I don’t think anyone’s ever seen this side of me. Shaheema’s always cheerful, positive and on the move. Right now, I’m sad, drained and not happening! Things are just really difficult right now… but I’m moving ahead… slowly… but I’ll get there Insha-Allah, and in the end, all this hardship will be something to smile back on.

As they say: “NOTHING WORTHWHILE COMES EASY!”

Ruwayda & Faheem's Layla

Little Layla Abrahams was born on 22 April 2009 at 3:50pm weighing 3.2kg. I was meant to update my blog many, many months ago, but here goes.

For some reason i can't seem to upload the scans of her... but will keep on trying.

Ruwayda at the Baby Shower

Me and the Beautiful pregnant Mommy

Mommy & Layla - 1 day old

The happy family with Layla – 1 day old

Layla with her Mommy and new Aunty

Layla Name-Giving – 27 April 2009 (5 days old)

The Beautiful Parents

Isn’t she too cute!