give life . give love . give soul

Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Ramadaan

2010-09-09T12:45:00.002+02:00

Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatu

This, our last day in this most blessed month of Ramadaan and with tears and sadness we bid farewell to Ramadaan and ask Allah to give each and every one of us the opportunity to see another Ramadaan, Insha-Allah, Ameen.

May Allah grant us the ability to live the rest of the year as we have during this month, Insha- Allah. Don't forget those who passed on in your dua’s, as soon, they will be returning to their kabr, may Allah grant them Jannatul-Firdous, Insha-Allah, Ameen. To the sick, may Allah grant them shifaa, Insha-Allah.

I would hereby like to take this opportunity to ask Maaf for anything I might have done, said or implied, that may have hurt you in any way, intentionally or unintentionally. And to those who have stood by me, supported me, those who offered me strength when I was weak and to those whose shoulders I have soaked with my tears, I make Shukr. I make dua that Allah grant you the best in this world and the hereafter Insha-Allah, Ameen. May Allah have mercy on us, may He reward our efforts and may He guide us all today and always Insha-Allah, Ameen.

My dua for you for the last day of Ramadaan and always ~

May Allah weigh your Ibadat in gold, Ameen.
May Allah shower you with His infinite Blessings, Ameen.
May Allah cover your entire soul and bless your heart with the barakah of dua’s, Ameen.
May Allah grant and shower you with Imaan, Noor, Sabr, Health, Happiness, Wealth from this Ramadaan until the next, Ameen.
May all your Good Deeds, Hearts Desires and Dua’s be accepted and granted in this Blessed Month, Ameen.
May all your sins be forgiven, Ameen.
Oh Allah forgive the deceased and shower their kuboors with Noor, Ameen.
Oh Allah give strength to those who are weak, Ameen.
Oh Allah guide us on the right path, keep us in Imaan always and fill our hearts with Noor, Sabr, Piety and Humbleness, Ameen.

May Allah....
Take us under His wing and ease our pain,
make light our heart,
accept all our supplication,
accept our effort,
That He draw us close to Him,
That He protects us and sustains us,
That He grants us success in this world and in the next,
That He saves us from the torment of the fire,
and on that day of which there is no doubt,
that He enrols us among the righteous,
and that He places us in the shade of His Arsh,
and that He gives us the honour of drinking from the well of Kauthar, from the hands of our beloved Nabi Muhammad (S.A.W),
and that He allows us to enter Jannah from whichever door we please,
Insha-Allah, Ameen!

Al Widaa, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Ramadaan, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Siyaam, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Maghfirah, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Taraweeh, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Suhur, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Iftaar, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru Layla Tul Qadr, Al Widaa Yaa Shahru I’tikaaf…

"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain the bonds of kinship." (Bukhari)

May we all use this day to unite broken family ties and bonds of friendship. If the beginning of Ramadan is Mercy, its middle Forgiveness, and it’s ending Liberation from the Hellfire; its aftermath should be Thankfulness. Therefore we should be thankful for all we have and always spare a thought for those less fortunate than ourselves whose daily existence could be a continuous fast.

May I take this opportunity to wish all of you a Happy, Peaceful and Blessed Eid – ul – Fitr Insha-Allah. Have a joyous day in the company of your friends and families, Insha-Allah, Ameen and I'm so looking forward to seeing you all.

A month of inspiration

2010-09-09T09:45:00.002+02:00

I can’t believe we nearing the end, how fast the time has moved. This blessed month has certainly been a great inspiration to me, my husband and family. May Allah continue to shower his choicest blessings on all of us as we strive to reach His pleasure and perfection.

In my last post, I mentioned I was going to blog about the tests Allah put forward. That feelings have since passed, my heart feels at ease and stronger, so I’d just like to make a special duah for the youth of our Ummah. May Allah steadfastly guide them to the Siraatal-Mustaqeem, give Noor to their thoughts so they make respectful decisions and may Allah continuously have mercy for their shortcomings and that of ours, Insha-Allah, Ameen.

The sadness in my heart right now cannot be described. This month brings with it such joy, such unity and a great feeling of peace and contentment. I met a wonderful lady in that masjied one Taraweegh. Coincidently, we’ve been fortunate to stand next to each other on many nights. And when we part ways there’s always an affectionate greeting and a sincere “go well”. For some reason, she just stood out. Then, the weekend came, I happened to see her in a mall as we were waiting for the store to open. She walked up to me and I started chatting to her. Told her I remember her from the masjied, and so started a beautiful friendship. She told me about her kids, who are more of less my age, we shopped together for a while before we parted.

Each night we shared a bit more of ourselves with each other… and I eventually met her two daughters as well. This one night, out of the blue… she asked: “Are you married to Raafiek?” I said, “Yes.” The she started smiling. At this time I was rather intrigued. Turns out Raafiek used to frequent their home as one of the daughters studied with him, and that’s why she looked familiar to me because we all studied at the same place. What a small world hey! She then told me to tell Raafiek to bring me by on Eid, Insha-Allah. I’m so looking forward to it. And, over and above all that coincidences, we share the same hobby, our love for creating clothing. I’m so excited to see them, Insha-Allah, Ameen.

Laylatul Qadr was an eventful night as well. I failed to remember the masjied will be rather full this evening, so Raafiek and I left our usual time, and of course the masjied was packed, so we ventured on to another masajied. Taraweegh salaah went well, until afterwards when the imaam recited “Al Widaa Ya Ramadaan”. It wasn’t until then that I realised how few days we had left. The sincerity in his voice brought tears to my eyes. How fast the month has gone. Algamdulilah through the grace and mercy of Allah I have managed to finish my Gatam and to experience the night of Laylatul-Qadr in masajied.

After Taraweegh, we came home for a little nap and then at 00:00 picked up my cousin Raihaana and headed to Masjidul Quds. This has been the ritual of myself and Raafiek ever since we’ve met. Hence, we chose that particular masjied to get married in. We listened to some melodious Qiraah, made Salaatul Layl and Salaatul Tasbeegh. The evening was long, but good. We dropped Raihaana off around 05:00 and then headed on home to sowr.

Needless to say, later at work I could barely keep my eyes open, but it was well worth it. Raafiek, Raihaana and I were debating about the evening of Laylatul Qadr and the weather. It is said that the Night of Power is a peaceful, quiet evening with a slight breeze. The 27th was a blistering cold and windy night. We recalled the 25th evening which was a truly spectacular evening and last night Ray sms’ed to say it was another beautiful evening… hmmm… one has to wonder hey. The beauty and signs of Allah are so amazing!

As the month nears end and Eid arrives, it will be Little Zaara’s First Eid. I got her a cute little white and silver dressy… and small teeny ballet pumps to go with it. I still need to make her silver flowers to put on the shoes… oh and get her that lacy headband. She’s gonna look too Masha-Allah,Insha-Allah, Ameen! She really is such a treasure and blessing to our family! Shukran Allah.

The hype of Eid has started to take precedence in the house. My dear hubby has been up and about painting and fixing what needs to be fixed. I sorted out the curtain and bedding department. We are so thrilled for the change. Spiritually, we have grown together, Algamdulilah and have set new goals for the year ahead Insha-Allah, Ameen! May Allah continue to guide myself and Raafiek, strengthen our bond and forever keep us close to the Mercy of Allah, Insha-Allah, Ameen.

With love, I depart. I wish you all well for the last day of Ramadaan and may Allah accept our supplications, Insha-Allah, Ameen!

15th Ramadaan

2010-08-26T08:50:00.002+02:00

Oh my! How time has flown! Algamdulilah, we on the 15th day of Ramadaan already, half way… Masha-Allah. As they say… it’s all downhill from here.

With all intentions to blog daily, that was just not possible, but Algamdulilah, Allah knows best and the memories live on. Just some highlights over the past few days… I had a test from Allah around the 3rd and 5th of Ramadaan, but I think I did well. I’ll blog about that later in an entry titled, “Allah tests…”. Those were thought-provoking nights, that left me with tears. Tears only for the pure ignorance and disrespect some have for our beautiful Creator. But, Insha-Allah, one can but only hope.

On the 11th Ramadaan, with reference to the number 11 being my and Raafiek’s wedding date, we had our first alone Ramadaan boeka. Was quite nice! We had a candlelit boeka. Raafiek made some chicken and mushroom soup, I fried samoosas and made some flapjacks with fresh cream, strawberry jam and fresh strawberries. It was so nice, I’ll post some pics at a later stage.

Just something I’d like to share with you. Last night, coinciding with the 15th Taraweegh, we recited the 18th Joos. The imaam made reference to some ayaats which were recited. He was explaining the darajah of Janaat and espoused on the qualities and character one should have to be able to attain the highest of darajah in Janaat, that being Janahtul-Firdous. Some of those qualities include the following: to attain complete humility in your supplications and prayer to Allah, to abstain from sin – and zina being the most important thus protecting what which is between your mouth and your legs, as that is the highest form of sin in the eyes of Allah, to give Zakaah, that being 2.5% of your earnings – apparently it is the most neglected of the five Pillars of Islam. There were another two qualites the imaam mentioned, but my memory eludes me.

Well, that’s all I have time for today. Mubarak for the 15th day of Ramadaan. May Allah forever guide and protect us Insha-Allah and may we live up to what He wishes from His faithful servants. Fee-Amanilah – I leave you in the trust of Almighty Allah. Wasalaam.

Some humour:

Allah makes easy…

2010-08-13T16:24:00.002+02:00

Algamduliah, the first day of Ramadaan went really well. Must admit I had a few trying times and towards the end of the day suffered from severe headache, but Allah makes easy all the trials we come across.

My first boeka as a married woman was more special than I could ever have imagined. Raafiek and I spoke for years about this night, and now it was finally happening. We shared this moment with my mommy (who cooked up a lovely feast), my daddy, brother, Liezel and my niece, Little Zaara.

Last night, we got to the mosque just in time for Eshaa salaah. I was delayed by Zaara whom I hadn’t seen in a week and how my heart yearned to hold her once more. So, I had to take advantage of the time. Tonight, the mosque was filled to capacity once more, so much so that I couldn’t even get in. I spotted the space in the front row and just before Eshaa salaah commenced, I asked the ladies if I could stand in that space. Another lady accompanied me. And, so Taraweegh 2 played out.

I struggled a bit. I was exhausted, must’ve been as a result of the headache, but Algamdulilah, I pushed on through. Guess we all did. It’s not an easy task, perhaps some nights are easier than most, but we do it for the pleasure of our Almighty Creator whom we owe so much, and there’s so much we need to thank Him for.

En route home all I could think about was getting into bed. We decided 21:30 was a good time. When we arrived at home we felt like having a tad of mom’s butter chicken and then head on to bed. Mom was tired with backache and so I got busy in the kitchen cleaning up for her. I laid her table for suhoor for the next morning and finally got into bed around 22:15. Raafiek and I lay chatting till past 23:00 reciting Surahs from the Qur'aan till we fell asleep – Algamdulilah. What a beautiful first day of Ramadaan.

OH ALLAH, on this day make my fasts the fasts of those who fast (sincerely), and my standing up in prayer of those who stand up in prayer (obediently), awaken me from the sleep of the heedless, and forgive me my sins. Oh God of the Worlds, forgive me, oh One who forgives the sinners.

1st Taraweegh of 2010

2010-08-12T12:46:00.002+02:00

When I initially started this blog, I had all intentions of detailing the feelings within. To one day look back upon this time and relive it all. I must admit, the daily grind has been getting the better of me and my life has become far busier than I could ever have imagined. Busy with all my dreams and hopes is never wasted time. Today, I took a breather, leaned back in my chair and decided to take in the moment. So, as Ramadaan is on my doorstep, I’ve decided to diarise my thoughts, feelings and emotions through this historic time. I hope you’ll enjoy and travel along with me.

With Ramadaan, a sense of peace fills my soul. I begin to think of all I used to achieve in this month… my efforts to get closer to Allah, my appreciation for His beauty all around, my utter thankfulness for all He has graced me with and unity you feel with every Muslim aiming to achieve Allah’s pleasure.

I left work today and passed an old colleague who asked me to pray for him. I had to smile. I asked him to do the same. On my return home, there was the obvious notion that something big was about to overcome us. So, I just let it happen. My heart overjoyed and when hubby returned home, I could see in his eye, he was having the very same feeling. We rushed on to get ready for masjied, for tonight was the first Taraweegh of Ramadaan 2010, and we didn’t want to miss it. We did the ritual bathing (ghusl) which cleanses not only your body, but your soul in preparation for this month of sacrifice. We had a bite to eat, then headed on to the masjied, a feeling of utter contentment filled us. We chatted about how going to Taraweegh has become a compulsory act for us both, and I secretly thank Allah for honouring me with someone who truly understands my heart, as I understand his.

While walking to the masjied, we noticed all the cars outside and decided we need to leave atleast 15 minutes earlier tomorrow. On arrival, I could not see a space in sight. I just took one step in, turned myself to face kiblah (the direction of Makkah), and started my prayer. We just made it in time. Note to self again, we have to leave earlier tomorrow.

The girl standing next to me kept moving up a bit. Guess she noticed I was a bit uncomfortable standing right up against the door, but I had no other option at the time… as salaah had already started and I couldn’t interrupt the musallies. We completed Eshaa prayer, I spotted an opening in the front row and asked her to join me there. We excused ourselves and headed to the first row to start Taraweegh salaah. Taraweegh is a 20 raka’ah (segment) devotion to Allah where a chapter of the Qur’aan is read throughout the 20 raka’ahs.

The melodic sounds of the Qari reciting from the Qur’aan pierced straight into my heart. I was reminded again of my desire to get closer to Allah. To always act in a manner that pleases him. To only live for His honour and to be forever thankful for what Allah has placed in my life, be it good or bad, hard or easy, suffering or pleasure. Fee-Amanilah, my trust if forever with Allah.

Standing close against the sister beside me, my heart revered the harmony between us both as we stood before our Creator. In the last raka’ah I was shaken by the tearful voice of the Qari. Reciting with such sincerity, I could hear sniffles in the rows behind me. He had brought many to tears as they all understood and felt the sanctity of the month of Ramadaan. How can one not be moved?

After salaah, the imaam gave a short Naseegha and funny enough he mentioned the very thing Raafiek and I had chatted about on the way to the masjied. He said: “Inna akmaloe bie niyyah. Your actions are as good as your intentions.” In essence he was expressing that what you set out to achieve in this holy month is exactly what you get out. If you set out to go to Taraweegh for the first few days, that is exactly what you will do. If you set out to recite the Qur’aan sporadically, that is exactly what you will achieve. If you set out to achieve high goals in this month, and having tried relentlessly to achieve it and still not being able to, you will be rewarded in full, as if you have completed your intention.

When I left, I greeted the sister beside me and wished her well for the month ahead. Waiting outside for hubby, we chatted about our experience and what we’d like to achieve this month as we walked to the car. On arriving at home, I rushed to greet Mom and Dad. I’m thankful Allah spared all of us to enter and experience this Ramadaan, Insha-Allah, Ameen.

Last night, Raafiek and I prepared our home and got the table settings ready for our first suhoor together. This morning as I recited a bit trying to complete Chapter 1 of the Holy Qur’aan, Raafiek got our breakfast ready. We sat down, prayed Fajr together and serenely entered our first day of Ramadaan.

To all my family and friends, may Allah grant you all your heart wishes this Ramadaan and always. May you achieve what you set out to do and may you forever be close to the Ragmah of Allah. I wish you well, Insha-Allah, Ameen.

If you’d like to leave a comment, please visit: www.smooches777.blogspot.com and leave your comment under the appropriate post. Many thanks / Shukran.

I am tagged…

2010-03-12T13:56:00.007+02:00

So, Shahieda tagged me. These were the rules:

1. Go to your photo files… select the 8th photo folder
2. Select the 8th photo in that folder
3. Post that photo along with the story behind it
4. Then challenge 8 friends to do the same.

I tried to do this. But, as you all know, when it comes to pictures, my sanity leaves me and I become a slave to the camera. Firstly, choosing the actual file to use was a complicated mess, Shahieda knows all about it, but anyhoo… for a number of reasons I prefer not to get into right now… can’t let on how crazy I am... But, its okay, they know me here!

Here’s the picture which classified as truly the 8th folder and truly the 8th picture of MY pictures. And, sorry, i cheated a bit, couldn't resist adding some of my other favourites.

Oh! What a trip down memory lane. This is by far one of my most memorable and fun days. It was filled with serenity, calmness and a kind of contentment I could never explain. The day dawned beautiful, crisp fresh air, sunshine to melt hearts and I had 3 of my closest buddies with me.

This was shortly after I bought my car, so I picked them all up late on a Sunday morning, we headed to Nando’s for lunch. Lunch was good, perfect company, what more could one ask for. Thereafter, we took a scenic drive down the very well-known Cape Town attraction, Chapman’s Peak. I was having so much fun. The day was very chilled. Just relaxed and I enjoyed the time with the friends dear to me.

Not seen in the picture, is Abbas Regal. We met in my first year at Technikon. Quite a memorable year that was, as I also met my husband-to-be, Raafiek that year… but little did I know. Anyhoo, Abbas and I were really close friends, being 9 years older than me, I sought endless advice from him and we helped each other along difficult times our paths brought forward.

Nadia Dollie, seen on the right of me, funny enough, I also met in my first year at Technikon. She claims I looked rather lonely on campus the first day, so she couldn’t help but want to take me out of my misery. Hehe… so started a wonderful friendship. We spent many a day with each other, chatted, laughed and once again, were always there for each other. When we turned 25, we held a big bash together to celebrate the Quarter Century of our lives. Why do I always over-analyse things… just dawned on me… we kept the party 11 days from my birthday and 11 days to her birthday… and my wedding date was also the 11th – blessings in disguise hey. I miss Nadia, we haven’t seen each other in a while, and recently she’s ventured a lot into my thoughts.

Then there’s Imtithaal Dawood (then Philander), seen on my left. We met through work and immediately took a liking to each other. Before we knew it, we were out together at lunch, then weekends. We ventured along many paths together, from trying to build our spirituality, motivating each other, encouraging each other, to flying to the moon. (yip, even that!) We did so much together. Shared so much. She was there for me always, and we constantly kept in touch and abreast of what was happening in each other’s lives. We still do today, although we don’t see each other as often, the bond is still there. We’ve grown together in so many ways and I’m dearly thankful for having her in my life.

Back to the day... later we took a blanky out of the car, laid it down on the ground facing the ocean (what a breathtaking view!)… and the four of us lay, just chatting for hours till sunset came. We then took a slow Sunday drive home… everyone by themselves, left with the thought of a day truly light, refreshing and filled with the kind of friendship only existing between the four of us.

What a day!

The 8 friends I’m tagging are:

• Zenobia Langford
• Imtithaal Dawood
• Nadia Dollie
• Gakiema Ganie
• Shireen Burton
• Fouzia Sayed
• Tamlyn van der Horst
• Ruwayda Abrahams

Please do this and send your responses to shaheema.albertyn@gmail.com

I look forward to reading.

Have a fabulous weekend!

To Love Bellydancing

2010-03-04T22:58:00.004+02:00

Today, after being frantically busy trying to complete my Economics assignment due tomorrow... yes, i know, LastMinute.com. Anyhoo, i decided to take a break and checked my gmail account.

I came across an email from my bellydancing lecturer announcing a competition. For 3 people who write the most inspiring short essay on why they love bellydancing, will receive two tickets to an event she performs at tomorrow eve! Oh boy, i so need that break-away! And, would love to see her perform again, as she did so glamourously at my Bridal Shower in October last year.

Below, my offering. Please hold thumbs! xxx

Also, please let me know your thoughts, and if you think my poem cuts the grade at all.

Happy shimmying!

My Darling Husband

2010-02-03T14:11:00.004+02:00

"A woman's happiness does not come through man's glory and honour, nor through his generosity and affection, but through love that unites both of their hearts and affections, making them one member of life's body and one word upon the lips of God."
- Kahlil Gibran

My dear angel… each and every day I thank Allah for gracing me with your presence. A presence filled with happiness, love and laughter. A heart filled with hope, memory and anticipation. A life filled with togetherness, nurturing and growing dreams.

I often have to pinch myself – I still can’t believe I’m married to the man of my dreams and so, so much more than I could ever have imagined. You are to me the air I breath – night and day, the pounding of my heart as each second goes by, the touch of an angel.

Shukran for everything thing you do for me Raafiek… I wish you only life’s very best as you deserve the most exquisite, I wish you cloudy skies on a sunny day because I know you can’t stand the heat, I wish the ease of fulfilling your innermost dreams and desires, I wish for you the omnipresence of mushrooms, so they’re available to satisfy your every craving, I wish you all the beautiful fish your heart craves, the rushing waves you love to see, the fresh air along the coast, the indulgence in your creamy chicken & mushroom pasta you so love to make and I wish you endless days with me as I continuously endeavour to bring smiles to your heart, mind and soul.

I love you Raafiek, with everything in me. Happy Birthday my angel!

Love,
Your Wife.

100 days!

2010-01-18T08:48:00.000+02:00

Hey, hey, hey!! So, we’ve reached a benchmark, I think. 100 days, and boy did the time fly. Its been an amazing time of joy, love, discovery, enlightenment, happiness and new-found contentment.

Up for another 100 days??

I made it!

2010-01-15T16:06:00.003+02:00

So many resolutions, so many ideas, so many ambitions, so little time. Well, atleast I started doing one of them. And, that was to get my booty in shape.

Yesterday, en route home, I had every intention of getting home and jumping on the treadmill in an excited fashion to finally do what I know my body so desperately needs. Shoo, it’s been more than a year since I’ve exercised. Moving office was a bad idea, since then my walking time has been cut tremendously.

Anyhoo, no complaints. One must make-do with the situation at hand. So, as I neared home, sluggishness set it and the thought of the treadmill was floating away along with it. Getting out of the car, finally at home… my every intention had veered from seriously jumping onto the treadmill, to seriously jumping into bed.

Barely able to hold my laptop bag, much less move my feet transporting my body to bed, I saw my mom… whizzing away of the treadmill, looking overly energised and proud. I smiled and said. I was going to do that and before I could mention the word, sleep, my mom said: “Come, you up next!” I couldn’t deny the enthusiasm… Shukran MOM!

And, that was all the motivation I needed. So, I put my goodies down with some renewed energy and changed into my gym gear… something that hasn’t seen daylight for almost 18 months. It’s been way too long.

So, my turn came and I headed straight for it. Got on and pushed start, elevation 4 and speed 6. I was on my way. Only planning to do 15 minutes, I managed 20 minutes, walking 2km and losing just under 65 calories. I know its little, short and few, but I’ll get there.

This morning, I am proud to say I managed another 10 minutes, 1.1km, 41 calories and speed 7. Now, just to keep this up and I’ll be well on my way to getting the old Shaheema back… man I miss her. This new bod freaks me out…

3 Months Married!!!

2010-01-11T14:37:00.000+02:00

Wowzes! Even I had to take a step back and realize how much my life has changed. And, best of all… I’m loving all the changes, every single one of them as well as getting to know my better half, even better.

So yes, time has passed, lots of time. Sorry, I didn’t know how to make my come-back as a married women… hehe, since I just left everyone out to dry right in the middle, or was it the end… whichever comes first.

Oh well, I’ve decided to forgive myself for not updating my blog as I would have like to, especially as it got closer to the wedding. Not that I needed to write down every thought at the time, I’m sure those memories will stay with me for a long time to come. And, to make up for it… I’ll update wedding stuff and whatever else I’d like to add to my blog – in time. I’ll move back, forward, be in the moment. But, one thing’s for sure, I have to have all the good stuff floating somewhere, in case I get amnesia some day and long for a trip down memory lane.

Jeez, what can I say. I’ve grown so much in so many ways. So much has happened and so much didn’t… hehe. I have new and added responsibility and I’m starting my second semester this month! So, I have to buckle up, it’s going to be a rollercoaster ride once again… and my only thought is “Bring it on!”

To my darling angel: Happy 3 Month Anniversary Snookums! As I said last month: “I’m looking forward to forever with you! Shukran for everything you do!”

And, I guess I should have taken your word Imtithaal… married life sure is busy!

Signing out…
Pledging to update blog more regularly.

Ever realised how far you’ve come?

2009-08-13T14:13:00.001+02:00

Have you ever really sat down and thought of how far you’ve come in life? I know I haven’t. I’ve been rushing about, chasing, running, but never really seeing.

A new perspective has taken over my life. I’ve realised, I need to sit down and take time to smell the roses, and as my dad says, see the trees, smell the air, unleash all concern. I think right now I need it more than ever.

I’m about to enter the biggest decision of my life. A life of new beginnings, new moments, breathtaking experiences and most certainly, challenging times as things often tend to be. However, I want to be fully present, alive in each and every moment.

My soul has been such, that I’m forever searching. Searching for growth, new experiences, greater ambitions. Yet, never have I taken stock of the growth I’ve achieved, the experiences that have given birth to wonderful developments in my life, and celebrating the success after having strived so hard.

Just recently, I was faced with an enormous intervention in my life. I knew it was there, all along, always lurking in the background, but never did I want to face it, so I did what I do best, and just kept on paddling like mad.

Until one Sunday, after a busy but restful break with Shahieda and Debbie at the Protea Hotel, I was doing the dishes with Raafiek and we got into chatting. I ended up speaking and it was as if the words couldn’t wait to get out. Right there, my heart was talking. But, this time, was I going to listen, or just ignore it, once again?… go back to being the swan above the waters once more, while I continued to paddle like mad, just as before? Or would I really listen to my heart’s call and step up to relinquishing its turmoil knowing that in this time, long-term memories are born?

I thought about it for days on end. Fought it. Embraced it. Then fought it again. Whatever I did I knew it had to come from me. It had to be my decision… and oh hasn’t it taught me a lot. This year has been rather interesting, very trying but certainly eye-opening and enriching.

In the weeks to come, I learnt that I’m only human, just like everyone else. Some of my friends call me Superwoman, and for a while I even thought so myself. Others believe I’m the calmest person they’ve met, and I may be, but the swan theory comes into play here. Not too long ago, my friend Nadia told me that I should realise how far I’ve come. I realised for a minute or two, but then rushed on anyway. Till it really hit me.

I’ve rushed all my life. Chased. Tried a bit harder. Strived a bit more. Gave a little more effort. But, don’t get me wrong, no regret lives in my heart. For if it wasn’t for that very nature of my own, I certainly would not be where I am today. A place I treasure. And, this follows on from the post titled: “The CAN-DO Girl”. I really know I am. Because, whatever comes my way, I can do! I won’t allow myself otherwise.

But, for now, with the dire need of my heart to enjoy this beautiful moment in my life, I will calm down, even just for a while. I will take in the air of each bright new day, not forget to thank Allah for allowing me the gift of life. I will listen to the birds chirping, smell the roses as I walk through our garden at work, see the clouds, mingle with my fellows and enjoy each and every moment.

I will enjoy this crazy but fun planning time with friends and family. And, as I stand on my wedding day, Insha-Allah (Ameen!) I want to be fully present in that moment, embracing it with every vessel in my body and lounging with its memory throughout my lifetime.

For now, its just me and the air I breathe...

Why do we shout in anger?

2009-06-30T10:02:00.003+02:00

I've just received this via email. Thought it so stunning, i had to share it with you!

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

His disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'

'But, why do you shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.

'MORAL' said the saint: 'When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return!'

An ode to my cousin...

2009-06-11T13:45:00.003+02:00

Little does she know the impact she’s made. Little does she know how much I appreciate. Little does she know that she is treasured… and little does she know that she means the world to me.

Nadia, my dear cousin, celebrated her birthday yesterday. And, I’d just like to take this moment to thank her for her presence in my life. For ALWAYS going the extra mile and for constantly assisting me, thinking about me and valuing my contribution.

You know couz, we’ve come a long road. And, without a doubt, I hope you know you one of the most important people in my life (if not then now you do hey!). Most often it takes sad moments in our lives before we really appreciate the worth of someone. The day I visited you in hospital was a defining moment for me. I learnt there was so much I wanted you to be part of and my thinking was overshadowed. But I’m a big girl now, and will never let that happen again.

I appreciate and value your presence more than you’ll ever know. Here’s to wishing you life’s very best! May you always walk a path of happiness, contentment and pure bliss. And, when days are dark as life hands us our share, you know I’m the one to call.

Wishing you love, prosperity and utter joyfulness!

Time – an untreasured resource

2009-06-11T13:26:00.000+02:00

Does anyone really think of its value? Do you know its true worth in your lifetime? My personal opinion is ‘No’. I think many take time for granted. Many don’t make the most of it… and many don’t give it a fleeting thought.

It is something which just passes by… yet we don’t realise that as each day passes, that’s one day less to make our dreams come true! What have you done today to move closer to your goals? Have you taken the first step? Have you moved forward to your true heart’s intentions? Have you stepped up and headed to where you know you really want to be?

Don’t leave it for tomorrow… for today is now, and now is the only time you have.

"Well, that’s all I managed before my laptop battery died at 23:58. Good thing though since it was pass my bedtime. There’s lots more I wanted to add, but for now I’m sure you get the essence of my intention. I’ll continue again one day when I reach a similar wavelength. Love ya!"

Mother’s Day 2009

2009-05-10T21:32:00.000+02:00

There was hustle and bustle in our home on the morning of 10 May 2009. I’m sure you’d think it was 8 o’clock at night… but it was surprisingly 02:00am in the morning.

My Dad, brother and I were getting the card ready… in scripted with a little note from each of us. We bought my Mom a black leather bag (something she’s wanted for a long time) and a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates.

The look on my Mommy’s face when she opened the gift was too cute. Love you Mommy!

It was decided by the cousins that we’d do something different for our Mom’s this year. Usually they have breakfast at one of the sisters’ homes, or the husbands cook for the wives with all the sisters present. Quite a lovely ritual, I think. Having everyone together… and they usually share gifts between each other.

The sisters (Moms)

This means each sister will leave with 7 gifts each… gosh! I how I woudn’t mind that.

So, we took our Moms to Nino’s for breakfast. The view was breathtaking and the morning turned out beautiful considering it was cold and rainy just days before. We ended up being quite a bit of people… shoo!! Was lovely chatting to all the cousins and having all the aunts in one place.

Shahieda & I

Nadia, Raihaana, Shahieda & I

Breakfast was served, delicious! And of course I never went without my cappuccino with fresh cream.

An ode to my Mom:

2 years of love

2009-05-07T21:10:00.000+02:00

Time certainly in no friend to anyone. It rushes on by in scuttle but one can’t deny the unmistakable joy and blessings it brings in its fleeting.

It’s been two years! I still can’t believe it… although now, my life filled with love and honour, I could never ask for anything more. I feel content in each moment and so thankful to Allah for gracing me with such splendor, love and beauty.

Ya Allah, forever guide myself and Raafiek so that we will always please You and keep our promise to You Oh Allah, Insha-Allah, Ameen!

The ‘Can Do’ Girl

2009-04-30T13:08:00.001+02:00

So, this morning while applying my sky-blue eye-shadow to accompany my sky-blue poloneck and earrings… I took a moment to look at myself. In that moment my head was swarming with thoughts and I realised something. I’m the ‘Can Do’ Girl! Always have been.

When approached with a situation, I never assess whether I can do it, whether I am able to do it or even whether it fits into my current schedule… oh no! My first instinct when approached with a situation is “I Can Do It!”

That attitude has always brought me tremendous hope. It has lifted me on through the years and allowed me the possibility to be where I am today. It has certainly worked for me through many phases in my lifetime.

Being presented with new opportunities, brings new challenges of its own and with it comes the chance to grow. I’ve grown a lot from my experiences in life, the good and the bad. Algamdulilah… Allah has always been right by my side, spurring me on and holding my hand as I walk through those tough and storming moments.

With the new experience my life holds… leading up to my new chapter, I was faced with a situation I’ve never encountered before. A moment in my life when I was at the end of my tether… and with that brought that realisation that I now need to respect myself… just a teeny bit more. To ask myself permission for the things I endeavour, endure and encounter. And, I realised, as a good friend said to me, being able to say no or ask for help is not a weakness. Perhaps, my view point needs to change around that. I now believe it is a blessing… a blessing in that you allow another to share in the moment with you.

We all in life for a reason. We all here to build each other up. To please each other. To bring happiness to each other… and to help each other along the path of life. And with this comes my thanks… to all who love me, support me and wish me well… THANK YOU!

Because right now, right here… I’m EXACTLY where I’m meant to be… right here in all this madness fighting my way through and sharing my thoughts and this moment with YOU.

A little breathing space…

2009-04-28T13:55:00.003+02:00

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed, I guess. I’ve always thought of myself as a capable being able to handle anything. But, lately, I’ve been reminded of my own mortality. A mere mortal, frail, fallible, vulnerable.

I must say it really was a harsh awakening. But, I’m getting there. Had a productive chat with Raafiek last night. I just don’t like what I sound like these days. This clearly is not me. I feel like I’ve lost my spunk, my spark! Shaheema, where is she gone to?

Where’s Shaheema? The girl who always fights for what she wants. I’m literally like a swan… calm above the waters (that’s how everyone sees me)… but underwater, I’m paddling like mad!

I spoke my heart out to Raafiek last night… lately, I’m just questioning everything. I don’t feel like i’m in the right place, I’m completely out of sync, completely in the wrong space, maybe even the wrong job.

Why do I lack the courage to follow my heart? But, that’s where it gets complicated. Following your heart doesn’t always amount to the right choice or the ability to get on with your present life with the same standard. I guess that’s where sacrifice comes in hey!

My studies are driving me completely insane… I mean really! I’ve never felt like giving up on something… especially once I’ve started it already! And, I must say, the thought of dropping this crosses my mind almost 10 times a day… and I keep fighting it. Raafiek – always my voice of reason reminding me why and Shahieda always prompting me that I can do it.

I’m having doubts about actually posting this post. I don’t think anyone’s ever seen this side of me. Shaheema’s always cheerful, positive and on the move. Right now, I’m sad, drained and not happening! Things are just really difficult right now… but I’m moving ahead… slowly… but I’ll get there Insha-Allah, and in the end, all this hardship will be something to smile back on.

As they say: “NOTHING WORTHWHILE COMES EASY!”

Ruwayda & Faheem's Layla

2009-04-27T19:03:00.000+02:00

Little Layla Abrahams was born on 22 April 2009 at 3:50pm weighing 3.2kg. I was meant to update my blog many, many months ago, but here goes.

For some reason i can't seem to upload the scans of her... but will keep on trying.

Ruwayda at the Baby Shower

Me and the Beautiful pregnant Mommy

Mommy & Layla - 1 day old

The happy family with Layla – 1 day old

Layla with her Mommy and new Aunty

Layla Name-Giving – 27 April 2009 (5 days old)

The Beautiful Parents

Isn’t she too cute!

Where is my head...

2009-04-15T13:28:00.002+02:00

Gosh, I feel like I’m all over the place. If it isn’t work, its my studies or running around for wedding goodies. This is all very exciting… I must admit. But, in the same breath, I need to confess… I miss the days of lazing endlessly, not having anything to do at night but chill, or to just relax, let my hair down, have fun and just do plain and simple nothing.

Feels like years ago since I’ve enjoyed that life. The freedom, the joy, the mesmerisation! My life’s moved on so much from that point… to another summit of just trying to get by each day. When did life fill up so much! There just isn’t enough time to do everything and I find myself having to let things go. As my colleague said this morning, something’s gotta give. Although, I’m not used to that. I always try to make things work. I always give my best. I never give up. But, sometimes I guess we have to.

Sometimes I think if we have to let go of things, it makes space for the new. Except, letting go of things is very hard for me, greatly uncomfortable and leaves me feel uneasy for quite a long time. But, I must confess… I’m getting used to letting go… and instead of feeling amiss, I feel the opportunity and the new chances it brings along.

About two weeks back, I lost all my emails. I mean personal emails that I’ve captured and saved for 5 years! Things I’d love to look back on, things I’d love to review to assess my thinking at the time – just generally to look back on. And, I think I’ve gotten so used to being able to look back, that I never really look ahead. So, with the dramatic experience of losing all my mails from friends, family, colleagues, my motivational one’s, my teary one’s, the heart-wrenching ones and all my plea’s for help, guidance, etc., I’ve opened a new door to acceptance. Acceptance that it is just so and so I shall deal with it. It is kind of refreshing actually, to not have those mails to look back on, because they in the past, where they’re meant to be… and the future is uncluttered with more opportunity and space to thrive in new memories and love!

I guess there’s wisdom in everything and a reason why things happen. If my profile never became corrupt and I didn’t lose those emails, I’d forever have them to look back on without ever fully comprehending my present and being able to look ahead to the future! Allah knows best!

Anyhoo, I dunno wot I’m on about today. Just feeling really guilty that I haven’t updated my blog, so please accept my little offering into the fanatical mind of Shaheema!

Confirming our marriage plans with the Imaam

2009-04-07T18:37:00.000+02:00

So, the date has been set for 11 October 2009. On calling Sheikh Abduragmaan Alexander to confirm that he would perform the nikaah for us, he requested a meeting with my parents and Raafiek’s parents.

Oi! I must say I was quite nervous. But, looked forward to it as well. The evening dawned beautiful, and instead of butterflies floating around Earth, I was convinced all resided in my tummy!

We entered Masjidul Quds… the masjied Raafiek and I have chosen for our Nikaah to take place. The masjied is huge and so beautiful. It is also the official host of all the all-night programmes on Laylatul Qadr.

We arrived at 19:00 just in time for our meeting… my parents were waiting for myself, Raafiek and his Mom. We sat down and started to chat. Funny how we wanted Sheikh Abduragmaan Alexander, Imaam of the Bridgetown Masjied to perform our ceremony at Masjidul Quds in Gatesville… he informed us that he had since moved to Masjidul Quds and was now the Principal and Imaam of that masjied for just a week at the time. Ah, destiny, you gotta love it.

The meeting went off well.. he took our details and ID numbers to complete onto the Marriage Certificate which will only be signed on the wedding day. He then asked me a question: “Shaheema, are you sure you want to get married?” I felt the tears well up in my eyes, “Yes, I’m sure,” I answered. He had to ask this in front of everyone to ensure that i was accepting Raafiek's proposal out of my own free will.

With everything set for the date, the Imaam and Masjied confirmed… we were on our way. The athaan for Eshaa just started so we decided to stay for salaah. After performing the sunnah for Eshaa and the two raka-aats to greet the masjied, we waited to perform salaah in Jamaah. I couldn’t resist taking a picture.

I left feeling fulfilled and blessed. May Allah forever guide me, my family and my new family to be, Insha-Allah, Ameen!

I can feel Allah…

2009-02-18T10:04:00.002+02:00

Today I thought of Allah! But, more than thinking I could feel His presence. A presence embalming me with serenity and tranquility.

I never thought 2009 could be any more challenging than what I envisioned before me… what with having to start my MBA, finally; marriage preparations and getting Smooches off the ground. But, nevertheless, I know it depends on how I view it. And, believe me, there is opportunity, if only I was brave enough to see it that way.

In and among all the madness, anxiety and sheer adrenalin that’s engulfed me lately… I feel a kind of stillness within. A kind of harmony unknown and long searched for. And, I know that can only be the existence of Allah. Why else would I be so content knowing that whatever my situation, I will succeed? Even though testing, I will try my utmost.

I chatted to Shahieda today, and my conversation with her just brought to the fore all I was trying to understand. How did I get to this place? When did I give up the control?

And, I realised, considering where I am I knew I couldn’t do this without the help of my Creator. At which point I relinquished myself completely to His Mercy knowing wholeheartedly that whatever was to cross my path, was at His Will and whatever was to be omitted, was at His will too and just not meant to be. And, in all that I will never understand, I’m only left to accept that it is so.

And, algamdulilah… with that I’ve learnt the true way to a blissful life. I’ve never been more at ease. Complete surrender. Utter brilliance. I love this feeling. Relinquish Yourself Completely. (I’m going to trademark the last three words!)

Bursting at the seams…

2009-01-15T16:22:00.002+02:00

Wow! Right now I’m ecstatic, elated, over-the-moon, blissfully happy!!! I’ve just been accepted to study my MBA! Wow!

I’ve been wanting to do this for ages!! Since like 2005! And, today, just a few minutes ago, I was accepted onto the course! Man if words could ever exemplify how I feel right now.

Funny how it happened… I always wanted to do it… but put it out of my mind because at the time I just couldn’t afford it. Every year I would log on to the universities and colleges to check, but still I couldn’t.

A month after Raafiek & I officially started dating, we made a set of goals for ourselves which we would like to achieve. One of it was: To obtain my MBA degree before the age of 29. Well, I don’t think I’ll make it for 29, but I’ll be pretty close if all goes well. And, if it doesn’t, then atleast I know I tried!

Early in December 2008, I was working at home while listening to 567 CapeTalk… Redi Direko was having a chat with the President of Wits University talking about MBA and its benefits… Right there I sat reminded of the dream I have to do this. I jotted it down as the first thing to do the next day when I get to work: 4 December 2008: Check for MBA course.

The very next day when I got to work a Turkish colleague of mine was sitting in the desk next to me… in the desk which is usually empty and only filled every two weeks for a week at a time when our editor pops into the office. I can’t quite remember how the conversation started… I think Ayla (colleague’s name) said she would like to go and study and I said I wanted to study for my MBA, she said she wanted to do the MBA as well… we got chatting about it all day… excited, did research, made contacts with institutions, she got info from a friend… and before we knew it… we were engrossed in all the info and excited beyond belief!

So, at about 16:00 that afternoon, I finally opened my diary… only to find the listing I made the day before: Check for MBA course. I looked at Ayla and asked her if we chatted about it the day before obviously forgetting where I was. She said: “No babe, today’s the first time we speaking about it. You weren’t even here yesterday, you worked from home.” I sat baffled and managed an: “Oh, okay.” Clearly Allah had a hand in this…

So, we made plans… we were going to get our applications ready, get all the certifications from the police station, take the ID pics… get witnesses to sign, etc, and we were going to send off our applications in the week of 12 January. So, yesterday, with everything ready… we couriered our applications over-night (14 January)… at a ghastly fee, but nevertheless. And today, 15 January, we received a call to say we were accepted!! wHoopeee!!

So, ya, a tough year ahead… but I have to do this… and Algamdulilah… everyone’s supporting me, my parents as well as Raafiek. Shukran! So, Insha-Allah, whatever happens will happen.

Lots to do, lotsa thoughts and so little time

2008-11-28T14:33:00.004+02:00

My goodness! Just realised! It’s been a whole month since last I blogged. Quite pathetic. But, I certainly cannot be blamed. The Universe is testing my patience, my strength, my perseverance, my motivation and certainly my dreams. But, I’ll keep on trying… I have to.

So much has been going on lately… Raafiek and I are still on a hunt for a suitable venue, my parents were away for almost two weeks which is always quite stressful for me as I’m left to attend to household amenities… which we all know is not quite my thing… or rather not something I can do. I’m not very domesticated. LOL!

But, guess what… on their trip away… I along with the help of my sweet cousins and dear Raafiek managed to plan a surprise party for my brother’s 24th birthday… and, and, and… I managed to cook at least once :) (hey, i'm chuffed ok). I made chicken and mushroom pasta… which I might add, was certainly not what I envisioned when I started cooking… but nevertheless, tasted divine.

Also, I did the washing! Something I found quite therapeutic, to say the least. Something I’ll certainly do again. My colleague, Steve, joked that I enjoyed it that much because it's not something I do very often… and that one day when I’m forced, my enjoyment will fade. Good point there. But, was fun for now.

And, also, much to my surprise and detriment… I managed to finish four dresses in one week! What a crazy week it was. Late nights and early mornings… shoo! Glad it’s over. One morning I was found dragging myself to bed at 03:45am… that can’t be good! But, the dresses where beauty to the eye… aaah! There’s my enjoyment.

Also, among all this insanity, my cousins (once again) :) came through for me at a fashion show we had last week… turned out quite nice! Thanks ladies… Gakiema and Shahieda – my greatest appreciation! And, to Madiga… for allowing me the opportunity! Shukran babe!

Aaah… what still… oh and work as well… been hectic. Finished off a publication too… busy finalising the 2nd last one… by Monday.. and then the final to go to print by 12 December… I’m bushed just thinking about it!

So, in one week… I cooked, did the washing, made four dresses, worked late to finish a publication, had a fashion show and still survived to tell the tale. That’s heavy! Not again… no thank you! (I’ll update individually with pics when time allows).

And, today as I walked down the steps at work I realised something… tomorrow will be exactly one year since my gran’s passing. Oh how I miss her! And, tonight… will be exactly one year since the last time I spoke to her in person. My heart’s a bit sad right now. I recall how I cried that night holding her hand sitting by her bedside… she told me not to cry and that she was just fine. I felt something different that night… Allah was ready to take her and I knew it. May she forever rest in peace and be close to Allah's Divine Mercy Always, Insha-Allah, Ameen! Love you Ma!

And, once again… my very sincerest thanks to Raafiek… who on that very fateful night took me to see my granny, just one last time! I love you!

I wish you were here!

2008-10-28T10:41:00.002+02:00

Last night as Raafiek and I got home after dinner with Samir and Shireen, we got into chatting to my parents about the wedding.

The conversation was lots of fun and I enjoyed throwing around ideas with them and contemplating the events of ‘the big day’. Nevertheless, we started chatting about the wedding entourage and then got into talking about the colour of the decorations and the girls dresses.

Anyhoo… as time passed my parents departed and Raafiek and I continued to chat. By now it was 23:00 already… I didn’t realise it was that late. We were going through pictures on my digital camera and reminiscing on memories.

Suddenly, pictures of my late grandmother appeared… usually unaffected by it, this time I felt a bit different. Earlier Raafiek asked me how I felt when I see pictures of her, I just shrugged it off as I was a bit perturbed by my reactions. I just couldn’t understand why I wasn’t sobbing my eyes out… I didn’t cry at her janazah… not one single tear… although I did bawl my eyes out with her the night before – her last night on Earth.

Last night must’ve been only the second time I’ve cried since her passing. Raafiek gave me a nice bear hug and I just let it all out. He must've known that's what I needed.

My grammy and I were very close and I treasured her opinion dearly. I missed her last night… so much so that couldn’t fathom my true feelings. I’ve never experienced this before. Just in last week I told Raafiek… I just don’t understand death. How someone can be here for one minute… completely conscious and sane, talking and laughing with you… but literally inside they’re dying. What sense is there in that? I just don’t get it. Perhaps, I’m not meant to.

Now, my grandmother’s brother is about to pass from the same thing. A man so funny, loud and filled with character. But, Allah’s knows best and we should take comfort in that.

"Ma, I really, really miss you terribly! I understand now… I haven’t cried because I don’t want to admit that you no longer here… that I won’t ever see your beautiful face again… or hear your cute laughter… or see your boisterous smile… or the way your eyes light up when you see something really smart. We’ve always chatted about the day I get married… and I always thought you’d be present. I know that even though you won’t be there physically, you’ll be there in spirit! I really wish you were here right now. As, I know… for right now, you’d take away any confusion in my mind… and help me make the decisions with poise… which was so easy under your confident eyes. Right now, I wish you were here to help me make sense of all these colours! I know you would’ve assured me in a jiffy! I miss you so much Ma! Raafiek said something that made me smile through the tears… he said, 'Ma would definitely go with purple and say all the rest my dear is up to you.' hehe… I think he’s so right! I love you and hope wherever you are that you smiling and happy!"

May you rest in peace Ma, Insha-Allah, Ameen!

The harsh reality

2008-10-20T13:48:00.002+02:00

Over the weekend I was confronted with some real hard-hitting issues. I watched two movies based on real-life events, and to say it left me feeling a bit uncomfortable is a blatant understatement.

The one was titled United 93 based on Flight 93, a hijacked plane on 9/11. To watch the utter and terrifying horror that those 44 passengers were forced to succumb to, left an emptiness in my heart. One that will never be filled. It really opened my eyes to the unacceptable magnitude of violence in this lifetime. While, this may just have been a composition of what the unfortunate passengers experienced, I shudder to think what the reality was like.

I guess sometimes, as it tends to happen far away, we don’t really immerse ourselves in the situation to get the true magnitude of the emotion involved. I for one just hear it and shun it.

I must admit - I live a very sheltered life in my mind… very oblivious to my surroundings. Perhaps, for my own sanity. Perhaps this is how I deal with things I know I have no power to change. I just cannot stand the thought of seeing another in pain… let alone be the one inflicting it. I cannot deal with some of life’s realities, the mindless killings, the little left un-parented and absent to wonder about, the poor who have no home to go to or shelter and I am left to wonder… how do they still make it through?

I shudder to think of myself, what thoughts would be going through my mind, as I know death awaits me and my departure from the ones I love so dearly! Unfathomable right now… perhaps always.

I was so taken aback by the film, that later that evening when my mom came to greet me while I was sleeping… I jumped up in anguish as I feared what was before me. My mom hurriedly had to compose me and assure me it was only her who wanted to kiss my cheek. Even now, I consider myself lucky to have this sentiment; most aren’t able to still have their very treasured loved ones near. Shukran Allah!

The other movie who my brother recommended was An American Crime based on a brutal crime committed in 1966. To begin to even comprehend how someone can willfully cause pain to someone else, and that - someone of age to a minor, I’ll never understand. Some of the scenes were so offensive and grotesque that I was left curled up on the couch biting my fingers.

I pray that God instills in us a better understanding so that we will remain sane and make good choices for the future – choices that benefit all inhabitants on this borrowed time on Earth!

May Allah be with us!

What does 11...10...09… mean?

2008-10-11T23:10:00.008+02:00

What you may ask does 11.10.09 mean? Well… to me it is to be a very special day in my life! A day I’ve always dreamt about… a day of love, honour and complete gratitude. A day to always remember…

The day Raafiek & I pledge to love, honour and cherish each other… the day we complete half our faith… the day that marks the beginning of a new lifetime… the day we marry! I await with eager anticipation!

Well, back to the now… its October 11, 2008… exactly one year from the much-anticipated day. It seems cloudy and cold, but who was to know that it would transform into a day filled with sunshine, happiness and wonderful memories. I spent most of the day with my cousin Shahieda… we attended an Islamic Jurisprudence class – Usul-lul-Fiqh. Then we headed to Mugg&Bean for breakfast. Thereafter, we strolled leisurely around and did some fabric shopping.

On my return home, I felt like doing something special to mark the day. You know me… always looking for a reason to create some memories. So, I called up Raafiek and we collectively decided to do some dining the evening to signify our one year count-down to a lifetime together. I told my parents about it to spread the good cheer… and they decided dinner was on them. We went to a delectable Pakistani diner in Seapoint – From Cape to India.

Mom & Me

Raafiek & Dad

Dressed in our Sunday-best we took a scenic sunset drive to the restaurant. I had on a little black number… and Raafiek was suited in a black blazer as well. Oooh… don’t ask me the names of the food we ate… a bit weird… but nevertheless mouth-watering! Sounded like Aloo Chopra, Aloo Kapiri… uh... never mind… it was delicious!

Me & My Wonderful Parents

We had a splendid time… chatted about plans for the wedding and had some good laughs as well. Oh my… there was this cute little baby boy, probably not even two years old… the minute they stepped into the restaurant… he ran towards me and gave me a sweet… I was so stunned… the little baby then proceeded to climb onto my lap… too oulik! So, I lifted him up and played with him for a bit… till his mom fetched him. Hmmm… me wonders if he can sense my eagerness to have a little one of my own! hehe

Me & My Husband-To-Be

After dinner, my parents left to visit my mom’s aunt, so Raafiek and I went to visit Zane & Zoey.

Zane & Zoey

The Angel & The Devil

Thereafter, we took a drive to the V&A… then a slow drive home. By now… I was bushed… it was heading onto 11:00pm… my eyes are heavy… but still my heart is pounding for what’s to come! Excitement beyond explanation!

Shireen’s Sort-of-Surprise

2008-10-05T14:06:00.000+02:00

Up I was at Fajr, made salaah, coffee, some nibbles… and we were on the road. Samir & Raafiek planned a surprise day away for Shireen’s birthday. But, to quote the birthday girl: “You can never leave anything up to the guys.” Before we knew it, she was in on what was happening and even helping with marinating the chicken and getting together breakfast.

To spite the broken surprise, we had a blast. The weather was absolutely fabulous. We took a 2½ hour drive to Montague Springs, it’s a hot springs resort outside Cape Town. We went on the waterslide, chilled in the hot pools and braaied.

Raafiek

Shireen

The day was awesome, relaxed and fun… but come night-time… we struggled to keep awake on our return. The after-effects of being in warm water all day.

Shukran Raafiek & Samir!

WP vs Lions

2008-10-04T16:34:00.000+02:00

Today Raafiek and I did some shopping with his Mom and uncle… then we made an impromptu decision to get some tickets for rugby at the Newlands Stadium for the game between Western Province (WP) and the Lions.

WP was to win by 19 points and a bonus point to make it to the semi-finals. Needless to say, the game was gripping, had me on the edge of my seat and sometimes ranting hysterically as I cheered on for a try that just wouldn’t happen.

They won, 14-6… but felt more like a loss as they didn’t win good enough to make it to the semi’s. Anyhoo… they did their best!

The eve… Raafiek & I headed with my parents to Spur… was delish! If only I could finish…

Eid-ul-Fitr

2008-10-01T16:12:00.010+02:00

The joy this day brings is immeasurable. It fills me with such peace, tranquility and utter thankfulness. As per the norm on Eid mornings, I attend to dressing our table, filling it with lovely delectables and keeping Mom company in the kitchen till my daddy and brother return from Eid Salaah.

Ashraf & Raafiek

Ashraf & I

Raafiek & I

Upon their return, my Mom & I got dressed and then headed to visit my Dad’s Aunt. Thereafter we spent the day visiting family and friends. I spent some time with Raafiek’s family and then headed to the meeting spot at my Mom’s sister where the entire family got together. We took lotsa pics, shared many laughs and the day was memorable.

Raafiek's Family

The Ladies

My Mom's Sisters

I love family time.

Assalamu-Alaikum Ya-Ramadaan

2008-09-30T14:37:00.006+02:00

Wow! I can’t believe it! My heart is filled with so much sadness right now. I long for this month to be here again…

It’s the final day of Ramadaan today… the 30 September 2008. We’ve fasted for 30 days and tomorrow, Insha-Allah will be Eid-ul-Fitr (Labarang). I’m excited to see myamily and friends and to share in the day with them. But, even through the bliss I can’t help but feel a little melancholy.

This is such a special month and one which if lucky to experience, should be taken full advantage of. Algamdulilah… I managed to finish my Gataamal-Qur’aan on the 19th day of Fast, as I wanted to do as much as I could before the Little Red Fairy visited. And, I did.

Last night in mosque I couldn’t hold back the tears as I realised that it was the last Salaatul-Taraweegh for the year 2008. I’m so thankful to Allah for gracing me and my family and friends with this month and protecting us throughout it. Shukr Ya Allah!

May all our actions, efforts, saum (fasting) and intentions be accepted and may we continue to live under the protective wing of Allah, The Almighty.

Eid Mubarak to those who celebrate… may Allah grant you everything your heart wishes.

Assalamu-Alaikum Ya Ramadaan… shukran for filling my heart with such warmth, eagerness, connectedness and serenity. I have taken on many Amaanah (responsibilities) which I wish to carry out after Ramadaan and throughout my years… May Allah make it easy for me, Insha-Allah, keep me steadfast and may each and everyone only grow in faith from here. Ameen!

I’m so exhausted but excited!

2008-09-27T23:57:00.001+02:00

So, after just 3 hours of sleep, one would expect that I’d be tired… but not yet… When I awoke I was filled with excitement for the day ahead. I was to see Ruwayda at 10:00. I was excited as I haven’t seen her in her ‘delicate’ state as yet. Or, should I say, I haven’t seen her in her state, knowingly of the state. Hehe. Wait, this is getting much too confusing.

Bottom line, I was excited! I picked her up then we headed to our appointment. She's looking pretty much the same for now... but complaining her pants can no longer close. Aah! The joys! And, as always… there was a long waiting line… but, we didn’t mind this time. There was a lot to update each other on… so, we didn’t waste any time and got right into it.

Thereafter, Raafiek came to meet us and we headed to do some shopping for him. We walked around from shop to shop, sometimes finding what we need, and sometimes not at all. By now it was around 15:00… and I was beginning to feel a bit weary. Later, Ruwayda’s husband picked her up and Raafiek and I headed on home… I really needed to sleep, so I did just that.

The evening we decided to take my parents out for supper once we returned from mosque. We intended on Spur, but was closed when we got there… so we got some Nando’s takeouts and headed home. Not before long talk of the wedding springed up and we ended up chatting into the wee hours of the morning. Think I got to bed around 02:30am. I took a while to conk out. Sleep deprivation is certainly not joyful, but wedding planning is much too invigorating… Man, how do I sleep?

Layla-tul-Qadr 2008

2008-09-27T15:01:00.000+02:00

Tonight was the 27th night of Ramadaan. A very sad night, but a great auspicious occasion on the Islamic Calendar. It’s always sad for me as it marks us nearing the end of the month of Ramadaan. A month which brings much humility and peace to my life as I’m sure it brings to many other Muslims as well.

The evening we went to Taraweegh as per usual, Fouzie joined me which I’m very grateful for. I haven’t spent time with her in a while… so it was great to re-connect again even though we haven’t completely forgotten about each other and still keep in contact with impromptu calls now and then.

Thereafter we headed home to get all our goodies to prepare ourselves for the long night ahead. I was very sad Raafiek couldn’t make it, but he had a very valid justification… but Insha-Allah, I hope Allah still grants him the very best reward, as I know his intention was nothing less than pure. Insha-Allah, Ameen.

So, after greeting my parents, Fouzie and I were off to meet my cousins, Shahieda, Nadia and Raihaana. We droped off some food for the children… then headed to the masjied. Masjiedul-Quds is one of the largest mosques in Cape Town and hosted on that night more than 6 000 Muslims. Masha-Allah!

It was really nice to have four very special ladies with me. It was momentous having them with me as we listened to beautiful Qiraah and Thikr. We later made Tasbeegh Salaah, then had suhoor followed my Fajr Salaat and the recital of Surah-tul Yaaseen. It finished at 06:00am on 27 September 2008 marking the 27th day of Ramadaan. I then went to drop Fouzie and headed home myself. I was so bushed by the time I stepped into my bedroom at 06:30am. All I could manage was taking off my salaah top… and the rest was history. I woke up 3 hours later to attend to many errands for the upcoming Eid-ul-Fitr. I’m thrilled!

More polity

2008-09-25T17:00:00.001+02:00

So… it’s been a while hey… and so much has happened. On the political landscape, South Africa has finally waged its political hand and brought about clarity to a scenario that has caused not only confusion but instability to many residents.

However, despite the presumed chaos, proceedings went pretty well and a new President of South Africa was elected and sworn in today. The man of the moment is Kgalema Motlanthe… previous Deputy President of the ANC.

Kgalema Motlanthe
New President to the Republic of South Africa
25 September 2008

How do I feel about this assignment? Well, I’m okay… for now. As long as we don’t have the dreaded President of the ANC leading the country, then I’ll have a problem.

Further to the resignations, a new Cabinet was elected to support the President’s cause. After the uproar he caused with his resignation, which I think was a well-planned motion, Finance Minister Trevor Manuel was re-elected to the new cabinet. The newly elected Cabinet of the Republic of South Africa is as follows:

The Deputy President: Ms B Mbete
The Minister of Foreign Affairs: Dr NC Dlamini-Zuma
The Minister of Defence: Mr C Nqakula
The Minister of Finance: Mr TA Manuel
The Minister of Provincial and Local Government: Mr S Shiceka
The Minister of Transport: Mr JT Radebe
The Minister of Social Development: Dr ZST Skweyiya
The Minister of Public Enterprises: Mrs BS Mabandla
The Minister of Communications: Dr IF Matsepe-Casaburri
The Minister of Public Service and Administration : Mr R Baloyi
The Minister of Labour: Mr MMS Mdladlana
The Minister of Public Works: Mr GQM Doidge
The Minister of Intelligence: Mr S Cwele
The Minister of Health: Ms B Hogan
The Minister in The Presidency : Dr ME Tshabalala-Msimang
The Minister of Correctional Services: Dr BMN Balfour
The Minister of Housing: Dr LN Sisulu
The Minister of Safety and Security: Mr EN Mthethwa
The Minister of Justice and Constitutional Development: Mr ME Surty
The Minister of Education: Mrs GNM Pandor
The Minister of Arts and Culture: Dr ZP Jordan
The Minister of Sport and Recreation: Rev MA Stofile
The Minister of Environmental Affairs and Tourism: Mr MCJ van Schalkwyk
The Minister of Trade and Industry: Mr MB Mpahlwa
The Minister of Science and Technology : Mr MA Mangena
The Minister of Mineral and Energy: Ms BP Sonjica
The Minister of Home Affairs: Ms NN Mapisa-Nqakula
The Minister of Water Affairs and Forestry: Ms LB Hendricks
The Minister of Agriculture and Land Affairs: Ms LM Xingwana

I’ve stipulated these for reference sake later in life. A quote from his Kgalema Motlanthe’s acceptance speech:

“We live in challenging times. We see before us many mountains that are yet to be climbed, and numerous rivers that still need to be crossed. Yet, for all the challenges that lie ahead, the incontrovertible truth is that never before has South Africa been closer than it is today towards the achievement of a better life for all its people. We therefore have a shared responsibility to build on these results and to strive together - sparing neither courage nor strength - towards the achievement of a better South Africa, a better Africa and a better world.”

I sure hope he achieves his plight and that he brings about a harmonious living for all the residents of South Africa and Africa. I salute you Mr President.

Further resignations

2008-09-23T14:57:00.002+02:00

Further resignations have taken place. The toll now stands at the President, the Deputy President, 10 Ministers and 3 Deputy Ministers. And, guess what. This includes our Minister of Finance Trevor Manuel.

Now, really... this can definitely not be good for South Africa, now as we stand in this volatile moment with soaring (and thankfully, now declining) petrol prices, soaring food prices and now further economic instability as well as on our political landscape. After what has just transpired, one can but ony hope we will receive our 36c decline in the petrol price next month.

Here's the resignation list as it currently stands:

Statement on the resignation of members of Cabinet and Deputy Ministers - 23 September 2008.

President Thabo Mbeki has, to date, received letters of resignation from the following members of Cabinet which, regretfully, he has had to accept:

1. Deputy President - Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka

2. Minister of Defence - Mosiuoa Lekota

3. Minister of Finance - Trevor Manuel

4. Minister in the Presidency - Dr Essop Pahad

5. Minister of Intelligence - Ronnie Kasrils

6. Minister of Correctional Services - Ngconde Balfour

7. Minister of Public Enterprises - Alec Erwin

8. Minister of Science and Technology - Mosibudi Mangena

9. Minister of Public Works - Thoko Didiza

10. Minister of Provincial and Local Government - Sydney Mufamadi

11. Minister of Public Service and Administration - Geraldine Fraser Moleketi

The following Deputy Ministers have also tendered their resignations:

1. Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs - Aziz Pahad

2. Deputy Minister of Finance - Jabu Moleketi

3. Deputy Minister of Correctional Services - Loretta Jacobus

The resignations will be effective from the day that the President's resignation takes effect. All the Ministers have expressed their availability to assist the incoming administration in the hand-over process and any other assistance that might be sought from them. President Mbeki thanked the Deputy President, the Ministers and the Deputy Ministers for their dedicated service to the nation and wished them well in their future endeavours.

Further to this I just received notice that there is a possibility that Finance Minister Trevor Manuel will stay and serve on the new administration said his spokesperson Thoraya Pandy.

Pandy made it clear that the minister believed his resignation was required because he served "at the pleasure of the President" and if the President resigns then he must too.

The rand plummeted after word got out but as talks of a possible stay was born, it regained its earlier composure.

A political update - 3 Ministers resign

2008-09-23T12:02:00.002+02:00

So, the state of our nation is in uproar at present. So much is happening leaving uncertainty not only in residents of South Africa but abroad as well. After reviewing the news last night it is evident that financial markets are currently stable (phew!), but however, the way the world is viewing the latest developments in South Africa leave much to be desired.

Although Thabo Mbeki’s resignation from the Presidency of the Republic did not make front page news the world around, it has still left some improbability in the minds of investors. And, as Thabo Mbeki could no longer attend what would have been his ninth annual United Nations General Assembly, Foreign Minister Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma was present. Word has it that Minister of Finance Trevor Manuel also attended proceedings.

At the inception of the assembly, Ghanian President John Kufuor told the gathering, which included several heads of state: "I take the chair at the invitation of the UN secretary-general in place of my colleague and friend, Thabo Mbeki of South Africa, who should have been here but for matters of state. We all know the role President Mbeki has been playing on the continent of Africa, and indeed on the international scene, during the past decade. He is one of the main architects of the African Union and a key initiator of … the New Partnership for African Development."

Among other things hitting headlines last night and early this morning is the resignations of three ministers of the Cabinet. Following Mbeki’s decision to resign from the Presidency, it was rumoured that Deputy President Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka (ANC) would also follow. This is now true, along with the resignation of Azapo President and Science and Technology Minister Mosibudi Mangena (non-ANC) and Minister in the Presidency Essop Pahad (ANC) who’s resignation will take place the same day as Mbeki’s.

According to an official more than 40 percent of Cabinet ministers at the time of hearing Mbeki’s resignation were ready to go until Mbeki asked them not to.

Further to this, the President has decided to take action by submitting a right to appeal to the Constitutional Court yesterday for the allegations made by Judge Nicholson claiming aspects of the ruling that set aside ANC president Jacob Zuma's prosecution and also indicating the executive had interfered with the work of the NPA, finally leading to his political downfall as President.

In papers filed at the Constitutional Court and served to Zuma and acting prosecuting head Mokotedi Mpshe yesterday, Mbeki states: "It is unfair and unjust for me to be judged and condemned on the basis of the findings in the Zuma matter. The interests of justice, in my respectful submission, would demand that the matter be rectified."

Mbeki claims that Judge Nicholson's multiple and "vexatious, scandalous and prejudicial" findings against him had effectively cost him his job, and damaged his good name and reputation, without the judge, or "most importantly the general public", ever hearing his side of the story.

This, Mbeki says, is a clear violation of his constitutional rights and those of current and former justice ministers Brigitte Mabandla and Penuell Maduna respectively, who Judge Nicholson suggested had improperly interfered with the National Prosecuting Authority's work.

"These adverse findings have led to my being recalled by my political party, the ANC - a request I have acceded to as a committed and loyal member of the ANC for the past 52 years, much as the untested allegations relied on by (Judge Nicholson) have already caused irreparable harm to my integrity and to the standing of the office I occupy... I fear that if not rectified, I might suffer further prejudice," he said.

Mbeki, who has gone to the Constitutional Court in both his personal and official capacity, has asked that Judge Nicholson's findings be declared unconstitutional and set aside.

"I deny all the allegations against me and also dispute the truth and correctness of the 'findings'... The findings do not only suggest that I have acted improperly or without integrity, all of which are injurious to my good name, reputation and my right to human dignity... but also go further in that they in effect say that I have failed to fulfil the constitutional obligation to uphold and respect the constitution as the supreme law of the Republic."

Pointing out that Zuma's application before the Pietermaritzburg High Court was mainly concerned with the NPA's failure to seek his representations before recharging him, Mbeki said it was "not necessary" for the judge "to make the findings I am appealing against".

If Judge Nicholson was of the view that "the serious and defamatory allegations pertaining to me" were relevant to Zuma's application, Mbeki argued, the judge should have asked for him to be formally cited as a party in the case.

Mbeki is disputing the following findings made by Judge Nicholson:
• That his decision to dismiss Zuma was "unfair and unjust".
• That there was a "political struggle or rivalry" between himself and Zuma that impacted on the judge's ruling on Zuma's application.
• That his decision to stand for re-election as party president at the Polokwane conference was "controversial and not in accordance with the Westminster system we espouse in this country".
• That former prosecuting head Bulelani Ngcuka's decision not to prosecute Zuma was politically driven.
• That the various meetings between the director-general in the Presidency, Frank Chikane, and the NPA regarding the arms deal must have related to the Presidency's complicity in the charges against Zuma.
• That there was political interference at the time that Mpshe decided to reinstitute the prosecution against Zuma, and it seemed that "the issuing of the warrants against (National Police Commissioner Jackie) Selebi was not palatable to the president, but the decision to prosecute (Zuma) was".
• That the actions taken by Maduna and Mabandla, in interfering with the prosecutorial independence of the NPA, are the responsibility of the president and the entire cabinet.
Source: www.iol.co.za

As it stands, South Africa is experiencing political uncertainty. One can but only hope that these matters are dealt with correctly, constitutionally and respectfully. I'll keep you posted.

I’m going to be an Aunty…

2008-09-22T10:37:00.007+02:00

Wow! It’s official… I’m going to be an Aunty! Hehe. :) Some weeks back my very dear friend Ruwayda - fondly called Tietie (big sister) - phoned me to tell me the great news. Not many knew at the time and she wasn’t 100% certain, so I couldn’t breathe a word!

Well, it’s a clear as daylight now… and a great definite, so Algamdulilah! I’m very excited for her and her husband Faheem.

Gosh… Ruwayda and I have shared many of life’s trials side by side since as early as Standard 7 and our relationship and friendship has bloomed into a beautiful sunflower… a pillar of understanding and heaps of great memories!

Ruwayda & I - Matric 1998

10 years later - Seaforth Beach - Early 2008

As we share each of life’s tribulations, we always make the extended effort to be of assistance and comfort to each other in each and every way possible. This is friendship at its purest! And, I’m honoured to have someone like her in my life.

Coincidental Twins - A week before Ruwayda's wedding

Someone who has filled many of my days with laughter, treasured memories and beautiful moments. I especially miss our morning and afternoon chats on the train updating each other on our life experiences. She truly is a character of note and who always goes the extra mile for those dear to her. I’m happy to be one of them.

Side by side through life's beauty - Ruwayda's Wedding Day

For now, I’d like to wish Ruwayda and Faheem all of life’s very best, Insha-Allah. May the moments they share as they await the birth of their beautiful baby or babies be memorable, filled with laughter and pure bliss!

Wishing you treasured times!

President Thabo Mbeki resigns

2008-09-21T23:58:00.005+02:00

I must say I sat with bated breath on Saturday afternoon, 20 September 2008 waiting for the fate of the country to be told. At 12:30, Secretary General of the ANC, Gwede Mantashe was to relay the ANC’s decision. It was delayed as President Thabo Mbeki was seeking legal advice at the time. Eventually at 13:00, the screening started.

He said they’ve decided to recall Thabo Mbeki to the ANC and Mr Mbeki agreed to follow. Shoo! This is hectic and at such a volatile time. Or is the timing perfect? I can’t help but feel saddened that he didn’t finish his term and that the work he did over the past years should be tainted with such an ending.

Anyhoo… such is life. Today, President Mbeki addressed the nation at 19:30. I was in awe. I sat there, listened, then rushed off to mosque not forgetting to ask my dad to record the commentary for me. When I returned from mosque. I watched it. Pretty interesting stuff if you ask me. At 12 o’clock I was still glued… until my dad ushered me to bed. A quote from his speech which really stood out for me:

“…gloom and despondency have never defeated adversity. Trying times need courage and resilience. Our strength as a people is not tested during the best of times. As we said before, we should never become despondent because the weather is bad nor should we turn triumphalist because the sun shines.”

It is true hey... in the end it's all about our approach. If you’d like to view a full copy of his speech, see President Thabo Mbeki’s Resignation Speech

Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar

2008-09-17T09:38:00.005+02:00

A colleague of mine, Bradley Shaw just sent me this most beautiful email. Very inspiring and certainly added a new spark to my day and life. I thought I’d share it with you!

Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.

He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly ressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey .

He handed my friend a laminated card and said: “I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.”

Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said: Wally's Mission Statement:

"To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment."

This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean! As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, “Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.”

My friend said jokingly, “No, I'd prefer a soft drink.” Wally smiled and said, “No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.” Almost stuttering, Harvey said, “I'll take a Diet Coke.”

Handing him his drink, Wally said, “If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.” As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, “These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.”

And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

“Tell me, Wally,” my amazed friend asked the driver, “have you always served customers like this?”

Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. “No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer , on the radio one day.”

“He had just written a book called You'll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said:

"Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd."

“That hit me right between the eyes,” said Wally. “Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.”

“I take it that has paid off for you,” Harvey said.

“It sure has,” Wally replied. “My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.”

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting.

Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

How about us?

Smile, and the whole world smiles with you... The ball is in our hands!

A man reaps what he sows. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up... let us do good to all people.

Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar.

Iftaar at Spur

2008-09-15T11:56:00.007+02:00

So… it’s a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon. A welcomed sunshine day after the storms and utter blistering cold we’ve been experiencing lately. It’s certainly not a day to be found in the kitchen.

My cousin, Nadia called earlier the morning, who was enjoying their stay at the Royal Atlantic in Seapoint. She suggested we conform to the usual Saturday evening’s at Spur. So we decided to join. And, lucky for me, I convinced my parents to come along too.

Dad & Mom

We were meant to arrive an hour before Iftaar ‘boeka time’… but as luck would have it, we came a ½ hour before to be graced with a long waiting list and extended lines. Although, Spur was nice enough to provide dates and falooda milk for those left to wait. Nevertheless, we used this time to catch-up and mingle… it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.

Myself & Shireen

Samir & Raafiek

Eventually, we got seated an hour and a half after arrival. Oh boy… it certainly was worth the wait! I thoroughly enjoyed my meal… thinking about it now is making my mouth water. Hmmm… that reminds me I still have leftovers as I couldn’t finish. Oooh wee!!!

The gathering was nice… thoroughly enjoyed the company. After the meal and many heavy bodies later… we decided to venture out into Seapoint for a much-needed coffee.

Shireen, Shahieda, Nadia, Mom & Me

Some family pics

2008-09-10T16:47:00.006+02:00

Last night when I got home from work… I walked into a beautiful sight. There was my daddy… all dressed up and looking snazzy. I told him so. He just laughed.

My dad usually where’s salaah tops that you throw over your clothing and they usually have patterns on them. Well, not today… today he was dazzling in a pure black salaah top, clean shaven and that all too familiar smell… looking dashing as ever! Atleast I thought so!

I ventured on inside to my mom who was busy doing the dishes. Always camera-shy, she tried to avoid taking the picture… but when showed her how it came out…

...she was convinced to take a proper one. Love you mommy!

After mosque for Taraweegh Salaah, I came home and took this piccy with my daddy.

Then before bedtime for Ashraf, I squeezed in this one.

These are special souls in my life… and I ask for Allah (SWT) to always grace them with his all-encompassing Protection, Mercy and Love. And, to shower their lives with His blessings! Insha-Allah, Ameen!

Hope is on its way

2008-09-09T14:40:00.000+02:00

As I got into the car to leave work after a long and hard day… I was graced by this little book lying on the seat of Steve’s car. Usually I’m too bushed to do anything… even chat, so I leave Steve and Rustum to carry on with their antics while I catch up on some zzz’s. But, not today… this book had me hooked. I read it from cover to cover.

Steve was quite impressed to see me still awake… but by this time I was pondering on the words of wisdom. Really made me take a deeper look into life and to see the positive instead of focusing on the negative. I’m a big believer and preacher of this… but only towards others. When it comes to myself, that’s a different ball game. It’s often easier to help someone else than to help yourself.

There were some interesting quotes that really stood out for me… I’d like to share them with you:

Each second you can be reborn. Each second there can be a new beginning. It is choice. It is your choice. – CLEARWATER

Now is not time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is. – ERNEST HEMINGWAY (1899-1961)

People deal too much with the negative, and what is wrong… Why not try and see the positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom? – THICH NHAT HANH

My personal favourite:
Throw your heart out in front of you and run ahead to catch it. – ARAB PROVERB

I have always felt that the moment when first you wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twenty-four hours. No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that… absolutely anything may happen. And, the fact that it practically always doesn’t, matters not one jot. The possibility is always there. – MONICA BALDWIN

We have enough people who tell it like it is – now we could use a few who tell it like it can be. – ROBERT ORBEN

There were many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream – whatever that dream might be. – PEARL BUCK (1892-1973)

If one burdens the future with one’s worries, it cannot grow organically. I am filled with confidence, not that I shall succeed in worldly things, but that even when things go badly for me I shall still find life good and worth living. – ETTY HILLESUM

But for me security is not knowing what’s going to happen. Because if I don’t know, it could be terrific. – GLORIA STEINEM, b. 1934

The longing for paradise is paradise itself. – KAHLIL GIBRAN (1883-1931)

I compared notes with one of my friends who expects everything of the universe, and is disappointed when anything is less than the best, and I found that I begin at the other extreme, expecting nothing, and am always full of thanks for moderate goods. – RALPH WALDO EMERSON (1803-1882)

I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining. I believe in love, even when I do not feel it. I believe in God, even when He is silent. – LINES SCRAWLED ON A CELLAR WALL IN COLOGNE WHICH WAS DESTROYED BY BOMBING IN WORLD WAR II.

I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward. – CHARLOTTE BRONTE (1816-1855)

May your life be filled with love, hope and honour!

Ooh yummy!

2008-09-08T16:38:00.002+02:00

Strawberries! My favourite… rich in a red mouth-watering colour bound to extinguish any feelings that do not bring enjoyment, utter fulfilment and pure exhilaration. Strawberries… are one of my favourite things to eat… among other things like fresh cream! Hehe… :)

So, my daddy got some as a gift and boy did he give me the go-ahead to chow-down… I had such a feast… one night strawberries and custard… the other strawberries and sugar… and just last night… the moment I’ve been waiting for… strawberries and cream! Needless to say… I was beside myself!

Gaining perspective

2008-09-03T08:35:00.000+02:00

This past week has been really tough on me… I won’t go into much detail… that’s for my own contention, but I do feel as if a weight has been lifted. Algamdulilah. My daddy is recovering each and every day… and I know this is only by the pure Will and Grace of Almighty Allah.

I realised what needs to be done… I need to learn to let go… to put my complete faith in the hands of Almighty Allah. This is something I could do very easily before… many a times I’ve endeavoured and was blessed with the bliss of contentment. This time around, I need to try a bit harder. And, like I told a very dear friend of mine today… it’s the hardships in life that push you forward to greatness. Sometimes I wish I’d listen to myself. Afterall, no one said life was going to be easy, right? But, the old cliché… apparently it’s definitely worth it! So, I plan to give life my all and to always strive to reach closeness with my Creator… that’s exactly where I need to be.

At least I have something to spur me on. The month of Ramadaan is here and it has certainly helped with the spiritual connection I was lacking. I went to Salaatul-Taraweegh tonight and it left my heart with a feeling of excitement, joy and pure exhilaration. I miss that feeling and am certainly looking forward to experiencing more of it.

So, over and above all that’s been happening, today I’m in a good place and thankful for it. Oh Allah, may you continue to bless all that’s dear to me and grant all deceased the highest of places in Jannah, make our Ummah strong and may we always strive to follow the Siraatal-Mustaqeem. You, Oh Allah are indeed a Lord of Mercy, Love and Significance! I Love You!

Everything in life matters

2008-09-01T19:15:00.000+02:00

About two years ago, my parents came back from a trip to Johannesburg and brought me this little booklet with a quote for each day. I must say I really appreciated it, still do as it has certainly brought light to many bewildered days.

Today’s surely stuck out like a sore thumb and hit right to my heart. It is true hey. Everything in life does bear significance and everything happens with reason, as my dad so fondly reminds me. A very dear colleague of mine, Tamlyn also articulated this to me over the weekend. Thanks babe! You certainly are a blessing in my life and your care and concern is treasured.

Not too long ago, I found myself in an unremitting platform where I was doused with another’s relentless questioning about life. Everything pondered, thought and questioned ended with, “Does it matter?” I soon got caught up in the tumultuous situation and began to question too. Does anything in this life matter? Does it matter that we here today because we could be gone tomorrow? Does it matter that I don’t have the MBA qualification I yearn for, it won’t make a difference to the end? Does it matter where I work as long as I’m happy?

The cycle was petrifying and left me in a very unsettled state. Until I was graced with an email expressing just that… that everything in life does matter. That my goals matter. That my existence matters. That what I do today will have an impact on my tomorrow. That the care I show to someone today will never be in vain. That the decisions I decide upon today could bear detriment or pleasure to those I love. That every single step I take today brings me closer to where I am destined to be. Even if that destiny is to pass on… but that’s just it… we pass on to a new beginning where everything we did in this life will matter.

Allah has blessed me!

2008-08-26T15:25:00.000+02:00

Oh Allah! I must thank you! SHUKRAN! For bestowing upon me and my family the presence of my dear father. Allah, I may not understand right now, neither may I ever, but I will place my complete trust in Your plan for all of us in this lifetime. Shukran for blessing me with the beautiful family I have! I am forever indebted Ya Allah! And, shukran for the time you have allowed us to experience each other.

On Thursday evening, my daddy experienced some seizures. It is the scariest thing in the world to witness and all my brother and I could do was hold onto each other for dear life as we tried to help my daddy. Algamdulilah, my mom is very strong and takes things with such ease but I know it’s difficult for her too.

Algamdulilah, only with the mercy and blessings of Allah, my daddy is recovering and is doing better every day. This has certainly been an eye-opener for me. But, the hard part still lies ahead… acknowledging and doing.

For now, instead of focusing on the worry and anxiety, of what needs to be done and what will change, I want to concentrate on right now. For, right now I have the presence of both my beautiful parents who have reared my brother and I with such grace, love and gratitude. And, right now I want to express how deeply thankful I am for a father who has displayed nothing but pure and utter tenacity throughout his life. Life has thrown him some heavy curveballs his way and each time, without fail, he bounced right back. Algamdulilah! I really admire him. Afterall, I would, wouldn’t I? I’m his daughter after all… in awe! And, my mother who has always been and continues to be our beacon of strength, hope and faith. Each day she goes about her tasks with such grace and honour and strives each and every day to fulfill the needs of her family. I am so thankful to both my parents for everything they do for us and want them to know that all the sacrifices they have made - are certainly noted and never in vain. I love Mommy & Daddy so much.

My dad always puts everything aside for me, my brother and mother. If ever we need to speak or need his help, he’ll drop everything and attend to us immediately. How can I not appreciate a man, my father who walks alongside me, bearing every single step of my life with me and guiding me so astutely with the glorious help of Allah Almighty. If ever anything is weighing us down, my daddy’s the first to call on, for all of us.

So, Shukran Allah, for Your Mercy, Your Grace, Your Love and Your Plan. Without Allah’s Will, this could never be, so I’m thankful today! May we continue to be with Allah’s Mercy and Insha-Allah, may my daddy have a full recovery, Ameen! I do love him so very much!

Rolling with life…

2008-08-15T15:46:00.000+02:00

So, I’ve had a pretty crazy week thus far… thankfully, it’s the weekend… and I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to it. Really, really need this time… just to relax and be.

A little update… after a stressful period of hurried shopping before the stores at Canal Walk close and four tired feet later, Raafiek and I decided to try out Fego Caffe. Boy, were we in for a surprise, we ordered things we wouldn’t ordinarily do… and that was the beauty of it. What was most exciting was their non-alchoholic cocktail drinks. I ordered a Watermelon & Chilli Martini and Raafiek a Strawberry Dachkery… hmmm.. it certainly was delectable… and to top it, my mouth was on fire from the chilli. But, this time round, I didn’t mind at all.

Then on Wednesday evening, I attended Zanap’s 3rd Birthday party, Raafiek’s little cousin! She was smothered with gifts from everyone and immediately started putting on the cute shoes, necklaces and clothing. Awww! What beauty to see a child smile. Lemeez planned everything and made tuna pasta while Raafiek & I made the cheese sauce to accompany it. It was quite delicious! Shukran Meezy!

The other day, I was delighted to find out that one of our Matric Reunion pictures was posted in the local newspaper, People’s Post. Here it is… Matric’98 making history! Thanks to all!

And, after Shahieda left everyone’s mouths watering after posting her appetising recipe of Malva pudding… I decided to try it out myself! Shaheema, being very undomesticated, actually enjoyed it very much… and hey, it can out perfect! And, after all-round wonderful appraisements to my pudding… I might just try to venture into the kitchen once again to try something new.

Finally, I finished off my last dress of the Smooches collection… for now that is. Aaah, a sigh of relieve. I’ll pick up this hobby again after the month of Ramadaan… but for now, I’m planning to give it my all… Lailatul Baraah Mubarak to all!

Have a special weekend!

Mindfulness

2008-08-13T14:40:00.000+02:00

Raafiek & I attended a Mindfulness conference some time back… think 7 May 2008… and the concept has since intrigued me. I was meant to write a commentary article about my observations and findings, but alas, I didn’t. Perhaps I really need to become more mindful of my myself and my actions.

The conference was held by the UCT Graduate School of Business at the Breakwater Campus, in Greenpoint. On arrival at 17:30 we received a complimentary orange juice and were seated. We were in for something really big here. Something I now wish I took more cognisance of. And, something which could change the rest of our lives.

The conference was led by Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn, a professor emeritus of medicine and the founding director of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in the US. He did lead a very interesting discussion and one which certainly left my mouth gaping. It then struck me. How many times are we really aware of ourselves within a day? Do we really tune into ourselves? Or do we just live life endlessly, day by day, never really taking in all it has to offer?

I don’t know about you, but I’m very guilty of this. Many times, I’m flooded with ‘things to do’, errands to run and just generally clogged with clutter all round that I never get to see any beauty. A beauty which is free for all, a beauty always available, a beauty we sometimes never see or bother to care about.

Dr Kabat-Zinn showed us a very interesting PowerPoint, a presentation in which there were 15 people, 7 wearing white sweaters and 8 wearing black. We were meant to focus only on the white sweaters and to count how many times they passed a soccer ball between each other. Raafiek and I both came to a final answer of 13. Everyone had different answers and where ready to argue their cause. But, that was not the real exercise. We certainly did what was asked, but most people missed the actual test. Even us. He then asked us to watch the presentation again… this time not counting and purely enjoying what was presented. We couldn’t believe what we saw. Not even one person saw it the first time around… there in the midst of passing the ball to each other was a man covered in a black robe passing through the entire screen from right to left. That really made me think. It was right there. Different from everything else... how come i didn't notice it?

It wasn’t a different presentation, it was the very same one we viewed the first time around. But, when given an instruction, to count only the white, we were unable to focus on anything else… which led me to thinking. How many times a day don’t we notice something because we are too focused on something else? Do we even realise the magnitude of this? So, how much opportunities, observations and chance for friendships do we actually miss in our lifetime?

This is how he defines ‘mindfulness’:

“Mindfulness is the ability to focus our attention in the here-and-now, purposefully and without judgement or expectation. Our deep conditioning often means we are habitually lost in thought. This often results in a sense of disconnection from our feelings and our bodies and what is happening directly in front of us. Mindfulness practice is a simple way to begin to reconnect with our inner resources.”

For more information visit http://www.mbsr.co.za

From now on, I want to be more present. To live in each moment I’m presented. To be thankful for all which crosses my path and to smile on the passing of a day, knowing I gave it my very best and really lived in each moment!

So, let’s be mindful!

Accepting life’s course…

2008-08-11T16:02:00.000+02:00

Who ever told us that we were in control? That we could have whatever we wanted? Perhaps, we tried really hard and didn’t receive what we desperately needed, would that mean that there is a lesson to be learnt?

I think so. I think we are meant to learn of life’s blessings through our hardships. That our most trying times in life will shape us into beautiful beings of appreciation, gratitude and love.

Today, I stumbled upon this email I received some time back which extrapolates exactly how i've been feeling lately:

Everything Happens with the Will of Allah

Man plans and plans. He makes all the arrangements, drawing up detailed itineraries and he confirms bookings for every minute aspect of his journey on the earth.

It is good to remember two aspects in this regard:

1. As much as man plans, the Plan of Allah always prevails.

2. Planning for the journey is given so much priority what about planning for the destination (the aakhirah).

We sometimes concentrate too much on the luxuries of the journey. Our homes have become too comfortable and sometimes it seems that extravagance and overindulgence is becoming the norm. We spend too much time on the issues of the world and fulfilling the needs of our existence in this temporary abode. Death must come to every person and death will bring an end to the life of this world. The opportunity to prepare for the destination of the aakhirah is only during the short life that we have. Once the last breath is drawn it is too late.

It is mentioned that the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said: Work with regard to your worldly life, as if you will live forever (in the sense that if you need something, there is a long time to get that). Work towards your aakhirah as if you will die tomorrow. (Some scholars say that this is not a hadeeth but rather a saying of the pious).

May Allah (subhanahu wa ta`aala) give us an understanding of the purpose of our life on this earth. May He guide us to make full use of our time on this earth before the time to depart is here. Ameen.

So, today, I’d like to leave you with these few words… there’s too much to experience in life and just so little time. Accept it. Give only the things you deem important, or which should be important… priority time in your life. Because I fear to find the day when we’ve spent our precious time on mindless tasks… hoping for one last moment to tell someone we care, only to find we are too late. So, always say what’s in your heart. And, remember: That sometimes we may pray for something and not receive it… therein lies endless opportunity. Seek to find it!

For it's certain, Allah knows best.

I’m thinking of you…

2008-08-08T12:40:00.000+02:00

It took me a long time to sort out my thoughts, well, honestly, I still haven’t. So, I figured I’ll just get them out. Hence, today, I’d like to blog about a very special woman in my life… Raafiek’s mother, Aunty Safura.

I only know her for just over a year… and she has made an instrumental impact in my life. Firstly, she accepted me just as I am, no idealizations, no special requests, no “if only’s” or “I’d like you to’s”… just me… unconditionally.

She is such a strong woman, who has endured so much, yet she stands there oozing the greatest of confidence and zest for life. She is so beautiful to me. In many ways, she’s like a friend… one I just can’t see living without.

On my first visit to their home, it was a Sunday afternoon and I was invited for lunch. I was graced with the presence of his beautiful mother, siblings Lemeez and Zane and their significant others as well as Shireen and Samir (Raafiek’s cousin and friend respectively). Aunty Safura had made some creamy butternut soup (or was it prawn noodles? Hmmm… my memory deceives me) for starters and yummy chicken curry with roti as the main course… I thoroughly enjoyed it! I brought the desert – chocolate cake with fresh cream. My first thought of her – she cares so deeply for her children – firstly to have gone out of her way like that for her son, Raafiek; secondly: the way she interacted with everyone present; and thirdly: how comfortable she made me feel.

Over the years we built a friendship built on acceptance, love, trust and pure spirit. In many ways we are so alike… sort of shared the same experiences but on different scales. It was easy to open up to her, to share my thoughts. I value her opinion as she does everything with the purest of intentions always striving for the best outcome.

I can’t really explain my connection to her… it's something far more spiritual. Something I sometimes don’t understand, but now having experienced it, know it’s something I’d never want to live without. I care very deeply for her and always do my bit in keeping her happy and smiling… as she deserves to feel nothing less. I feel so blessed to have the honour of being part of their family.

Today, she’s not doing too well and is in hospital. Please spare a thought and dua for someone who deserves the very best in life, who has lots of love to give, who is a pleasure and my treasure and someone who without a doubt is truly loved. Please keep her in your prays and dua’s that she may have a speedy recovery and return to the family soon, so she may see and experience the joy of her two sons get married next year… and to be the epitome of support to her daughter, who still needs her so much.

Aunty Safura, I wish you all of life’s best. May Allah grant you strength, guidance and good health so you may emerge with renewed passion for life and ready to make your dreams and desires a reality… something only you can do! I love you and long to share my life with you again!

Matric '98 Reunion

2008-08-05T16:14:00.000+02:00

Jeez… this must’ve been the craziest weekend of my life! On Friday evening, Raafiek and I went to Canal Walk to pay accounts, buy a baby present for Marildiya’s little boy’s name-giving as well as a wedding present for Khaalid & Shireen’s wedding! Alas, this was taking place all on one day (Saturday)… plus to top things off… it was my matric reunion as well.

So, up I was early Saturday morning. It was to be a crazy day ahead. Hair salon at 09:00, Rashmi at 10:15, other appointments in between, Marildiya’s baby’s name-giving at 12:00, had lunch there… then rushed to get some pantihose (lol!)… hurried home to finish the Powerpoint Presentation of our Matric year which was to be viewed the evening, Rayanah fetched it at 15:40. I got dressed in another hurry… then we were off to Khaalid’s wedding at 16:00.

Was such a lovely occasion and Raafiek looked oh so nice cladded in black and white.

Thereafter, we popped in at my house, greeted my parents, popped in by his mom, greeted her and then we were off to My Matric ’98 Reunion.

The function was held at The Ritz Hotel in Seapoint, one of the hotel’s main attractions is its revolving restaurant. Our function was held in one of the conference rooms, it was beautifully decorated with rose centerpieces, white linen and little memento’s too.

The reunion was a blast and certainly the highlight of my day! Finally I could let my hair down, relax and just be at peace. I had so much fun! It was so great to see everyone after 10 years.

Marilyn, who was always the life of the class… was there and lifted the spirits of everyone with her often crazy and bubbly personality. She was in my class since Standard 6… so we’ve come a long way! Pity we lost touch once we entered the big world hey… but like I said in a previous blog: A reason, a season or a lifetime, that’s life hey. But, we in touch again... so that's all that matters.

Ruwayda was there too… and Marilyn made the comment of us always being side by side in every single picture… and that’s exactly how we still are… after 14 years of friendship. We met in Standard 7 and remained in contact throughout. From 1995 a beautiful bond was formed and all through the years we’ve nurtured it, loved it and been there for each other through all of life’s blessings and trials. And, today we stand by each other, not regretting one single thing.

10 years ago back in 1998.

This is us in 2008.

Mr Rezandt was there, he gave the opening speech and afforded us a trip down memory lane… now that’s a story for you. He was my class teacher in Matric… and I certainly had my moments with him. Never appreciated him much at school… but as I entered the working world, I realised how big a part he had played in my life and how thankful I now am for what he taught me… and the times he drove me completely crazy was really a blessing in disguise. Funny how life works hey… only after do we see the method in the madness.

Ms De Waal… oh how thankful I am that she was there. She was my typing teacher. I remember her standing behind me in class while I typed and once my hands got a bit lazy, slouching over the keyboard, she would hit my fingers with a ruler! Ouch! That hurt! But, I remember it. She also wore this very distinctive perfume… Angel by Thierry Mugler… ooh now that stuck! Whenever I smelt it thereafter, I couldn’t help but think of her. My fondest memory was when I was late for class and she knew it, so she locked me out. LOL! I wasn’t bothered, gave me an opportunity to rest, but I ended up in the Woodwork room with the boys. Also, who could forget when I made up my own concoction of ‘lip stuff’ (Vaseline & red food colouring) and just before we entered the class, I put some on… then I offered each and every single girl some and they all obliged. When we got into the class, by this time, everyone had ‘rooi lippies’ and looked like little made-up dolls – she wasn’t impressed. When asked why all their lips were red, everyone answered: “Shaheema”. Oooh I was in for something… that was a story in itself. Oh… and I never forgot to say thank you to her for instilling in me my typing skills, something very valuable to me today.

We enjoyed a three course meal, by this time I was so full I could barely move… but I didn’t let the night go by without kicking my shoes aside and dancing the life out of me! I thoroughly enjoyed it and the aura around was filled with nostalgic memories, lots of laughter and great company. What better way to reminisce!

A reason, a season or a lifetime

2008-07-30T16:44:00.000+02:00

You know the old cliché. You probably heard it a hundred times before… but it’s more of an email adage I think. But, it got me thinking about my friendships.

I’ve had a range of diverse friends. Each dynamic in their own ways, displaying colourful assortments of cultures, religions and beliefs. I admire each of them just as they are. Each adds to my life in their own unique ways and each brings to me a kind of harmony I can find with no other. They are truly individualistic in its complete and pure sense. I can’t stress this enough.

But, what is it about friends hey? About life? What are they meant to teach us? And, why do they go so soon? I’ve had some brilliant, telepathic and even spiritual friendships… the kind where you can actually physically feel your soul being connected. The kind that warms every vessel within. The kind you could never replace.

Sad, but true. Friendships come and go. For the moment when they are there, accept, appreciate, adorn and treasure. Cache it, dig deep to find the lessons they’re meant to teach, the opportunities they bring and the euphoria experienced can never be substituted. That’s it about friends, some come and go forever. Some come and stay for a while. And, some come and never ever go.

Today, I thought about those souls (friends) that have touched my heart. Some ebbing in the distance. Some gone to bring blessings to others. And some still shining as bright as ever. I’d like to thank those, who have played instrumental roles in certain chapters of my life. Who made those moments memorable and lasting and who without them the memory would never have existed. Thank you. Shukran. And, to those who still brings smiles to my heart… I thank you. And, here’s wishing to many more beautiful chapters transpiring into a novel experienced in every facet of life; its pain and joy, tears and laughter and the process of building memories that will light up the sky on a dreary dark winter’s night.

As hard as it is to believe and accept that someone’s time in your life is over, I suppose it’s easier to believe that they’ve moved on to bring happiness and memories to other souls in the Universe. That’s a nice thought. ‘Cause you see in life, you can’t have one without the other. Sadness comes with happiness. I’m truly blessed.

Just chilling…

2008-07-28T11:28:00.000+02:00

Wow! This weekend was enjoyable. So relaxing… something I don’t seem to know anymore. Being away from the drudge or every day life, the same thing over and over, the mediocrity of it all… really made me see things in a greater light.

I need to spend my time effectively… spend it with the family, getting to know them properly, appreciating them even more than I do already… and just really taking more time for myself and what matters most to me. I certainly see things from a different perspective now. And, getting away has definitely help me see what needs to change and how to go about making it happen. So, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

As for the weekend… after a two-hour drive, we arrived late Friday evening… the walk up to the mountain chalet where my parents were waiting was literally breathless. My brother Ashraf, friend Sharmiela and son Muain along with Raafiek and myself were huffing and puffing when we reached the top. Needless to say, it was all worth it when we stepped into the lounge and was enveloped by the heat… divine! Must say, under floor heating is definitely a plus. After we recouped and caught our breath, we made some yummy hotdogs to nibble on and then we just ‘vegged’ in front of the tele till late.

The place was just beautiful with the most striking interior. After a good night’s rest, we made some breakfast and later Raafiek, myself and Muain went for a little hike.

Upon our return, we had supper, then headed to a lazy three hours in the hot water springs. Utterly divine!

On Sunday, Raafiek and I woke up early to go and chill in the pool. We did till almost lunch time. My cousins, Nadia and Shahieda along with their families decided to join us for their day, so we brought them up to the chalet. They too were huffing and puffing on arrival. hehe. But, boy, was it fun! Good conversation, filter coffee and fresh cream, koeksisters, braai and the game 30 Seconds, what more did I need! I enjoyed their visit and the game with them and my Mom was completely hilarious! We were all in stitches!

Yip.. and as they say, all good things must come to an end… so we packed up and left about 20:00 the evening. My parents stayed on and was to be joined was two of my Mom’s sisters the next day. They deserve it and I know they’ll enjoy. Shukran Mom & Dad for giving us such an lovely time. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

I’m going on a Winter holiday…

2008-07-25T14:55:00.000+02:00

Oh man! I really can’t wait to leave work today… still so much to do though. But, I really need this break! I’m gonna relax, regroup and take in the fresh air. Lazing by the hot pools and sizzling in the Jacuzzi… certainly going to be fun!

Otherwise, I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching lately. Just thinking about my life, my experiences and how it’s shaped me, how I’ve evolved over the years and where my life is headed. I’ve got so many dreams and visions within me… I can’t wait to see it play out. But, in life, I’ve learned to accept that everything happens when the time is right. And, I need to conform to that acceptance. But, Insha-Allah, with the help and guidance of Allah – the plan will materialise. Fee Amanilah – All my trust and faith in Allah!

My late grandmother…

2008-07-18T14:27:00.000+02:00

Thoughts of my late grandmother have been swarming my mind daily. I miss her so much! For a long time I’ve refused to accept that she’s gone. No one knows this, just me. I’ve kind of imagined that she’s still here, only I haven’t visited in a while. But, now, it seems its time to deal with the loss.

My grandmother (Ma) stayed with us for over 10 years and in that time I had the honour of being graced with her presence every day. She was there through all of my growing times and we formed a wonderful and very open relationship. I relayed to her on many occasions what was happening in my friendships, relationships and just life in general. Of course she would comfort me and always take my side – that’s what grandmothers do. I appreciated her for that, even though I sometimes had my own opinions about certain things. Gosh… her not being here is really difficult to fathom. I loved how whenever we had a function to attend, she would come and seek my approval on the outfit she was wearing and whether she had the right shoes to match. Hehe  and ever so often she’d borrow one of my bags – one in particular – a cream leatherette one with a silver block buckle. Every time she used it, she’d rush back the evening to tell me all the raving reviews she’d gotten about her bag and some who even wanted it. I thought that was so cute. I miss her terribly for the moments when she acted as my impromptu fashion advisor. I really still need her so much. She was great with clothing. We had many wonderful moments, which I deeply treasure, even the moments of her final hours here. About a year and two months before her passing, she moved to stay with one of my aunts. It was hard to accept, but that was her wishes. My dad then told my brother and I that it was now our duty to visit my grandmother as much as we could, at least every single weekend and I tried at best to adhere to that. Not long after she moved, we discovered she had developed lung cancer and it had infiltrated one entire lung already and was now starting on the other.

It was a sad time – to see how she moved from the physique I grew so fond of, the only one I knew - to one of frailty and meekness. As I sit here, I find it very difficult to relive all those moments, it was heartbreaking. Still is. We celebrated my Mom’s 50th birthday recently, and although no one made mention, I’m sure my grandmother was in everyone’s thoughts. She certainly was in mine. Oh how I wished she could have seen me then. I really didn’t want her to go, I wanted her to wait, to see me get married and maybe even to at least see my first child. But, that is not to be. Allah knows best hey. And, His plans are better than any. I think that’s part of Allah’s reason for letting her move out of our home first. Then I didn’t see her every day as per usual, but every weekend. And I grew accustomed to that. So, when it was time for her to leave, her mayit wouldn’t leave from our home, but my aunt’s… and I wouldn’t have to hurt as much with not seeing her every day as I popped by the kitchen, or visited her room first thing when I come from work, or jump out of my warm bed some times because I forgot to greet her, and needed the comfort to know that I did, just in case.

I was lucky enough to spend my grandmother’s last evening with her and for that I’ll always be thankful to Raafiek because he insisted on taking me that evening. I massaged her back, then her feet as I did every Sunday afternoon… but this time was different… it was to be the last time I massage her feet while she was alive. And, funny enough, in that moment, I knew it was the last time, even her feet felt different, more tender than tender. Before I left, I spent some time with her… we chatted a bit, laughed a bit and then I cried a lot. She told me not to cry, that she was okay and very happy. I greeted. She prompted for Raafiek to greet her as well and my dad and her shared some laughing moments and hugs. He kissed her hands. Myself, Raafiek & my dad left. I stole just a little peak before I left the room… she looked back and smiled. I was at peace. My mom stayed to sleep by her bedside.

I dread the call I received the next day… as early as 10:30 in the morning. It was time. Oh Allah, please grant my grandmother peace, and all her heart’s wishes. She was an amazing woman, so much wisdom, fun and vibrancy resonated from within. I miss her so. Even so that I dreamt about her twice this week… a replay of my engagement to Raafiek, only this time she was there… and as she walked up to me, smiling and oh so healthy, she told me she’s so happy for me, that Raafiek was a wonderful person and that she’s so excited. I didn’t fail to ask how she was doing. She smiled and said, “I’ve never been happier”, and stepped inside to greet the rest of the guests.

Right now, that’s the only comfort I need.

My heart bleeds

2008-07-17T09:08:00.000+02:00

The past few days have been tough. I’ve been toying with innumerable assorted thoughts in my mind. But, today I’ve reached the end of my tether. I was honoured to spend my lunch hour with a dear and very close friend of mine. We’ve only seen each other three times this year, quite pathetic with only the hustle and bustle of life to blame, which in my opinion is no excuse at all, but one we both keep on making. She shared something with me today… and my heart bleeds for not having been there for her. I’ve realised, there’s certain things in life one just needs to make the time for… and that’s being there for each other. It’s something we often take for granted, until too late.

This led me to thinking about myself, about the way I handle things and I’ve come to the realisation that within my circle of friends, I have hearts of gold which I treasure and want to protect, always. I sometimes feel like I can do more than I’m capable of doing. There are three very dear women in my life right now who are experiencing some of life’s harshest lessons… and what do I want to do? I want to grab them from their experience, cut them out of this nasty picture and place them somewhere beautiful, painless and unharmful. Do I have the right to do this? Do I have the right to strip them from what life is destined to teach them? Do I have the right to take their pain upon myself? Even if ‘no’ is the answer to all of these questions, I still feel like the mother-hen wanting to protect her little chicks. I seriously do.

Now, I’ve had to endure some of my own pain during my life… and I can certainly say those times I treasure the most as it showed me the beauty of life and taught me what I hold dear today. I know they will achieve the same lessons from their times, but for right now, while they’re hurting… all I want to do is take them away.

Smooches Fashion Show

2008-07-07T15:39:00.000+02:00

Saturday was just crazy… I was up as early as 07:30, met my fiancé, Raafiek and we were out and about preparing some things for our future and then we got the final nibbles we were to have later with the models and their partners.

Around 4 everyone arrived… the ladies set out to get dressed and do make-up and hair… while the guys (get this!) prepared supper for us all. We didn’t have anything fancy, just hotdogs, but boy was it delicious! Thanks guys! I had approximately 15 ladies modeling the dresses I either made for them in the past or some of my own supplies. It was quite a rushed afternoon for me and by show time I was exhausted. But, I comforted myself with knowing it was just a few more minutes to go. Anyhoo, it was 15 minutes before stage time, so we rushed the whole entourage to the hall. We got there just in time to brief everyone. Gosh, most of them were so nervous, but I think they did pretty well. It turned out lovely and thank you ladies for all your help! I certainly could never do it without you… and of course, thanks to Steve, who made a wonderful MC for the show.

With everyone looking fabulous, we wanted to go out and party, but I think we were all bushed at that time and settled for chilling at my place. We lazed around for a bit… and later around 11:30pm got some pizza’s. Then we just chilled and chatted. Was some good social time. We watched the video of the fashion show, checked out the pictures and also watched the picture slide of the engagement. It was fun, but by now it was 01:30am… and the sleepy bug was certainly starting to settle in.

Raafiek and I dropped Shahieda and her kids at home… the drive was nice. We were all sitting very cosily, listening to soft relaxing music while driving in the rain. Shahieda, Aqeedah, Uthmaan and Imtiaaz at the back, myself with Ghaalietha strapped in on the front seat, and Raafiek driving. I turned to the back and peaked at my cousin Shahieda, and then… I couldn’t help but wonder…

My wonderment led me to Sunday afternoon… when I finally got a chance to voice and analyse my feelings. Raafiek had prepared us some of Shahieda’s delicious chocolate mousse cake. He laid it out so beautifully and definitely appetisingly! Around the scrumptious mousse cake was a huge dollop of fresh cream. (Hmmm… yummy! My favourite!)… and around the entire plate he laid strawberries with little dollops of cream separating them. I couldn’t wait to indulge myself. And with that, he made some coffee… also with fresh cream. We relaxed and got into speaking… and somehow Shahieda’s name came up again… no doubt it must’ve been with reference to the delicious cake we were munching on!

I started speaking… Shahieda has been very instrumental in my life… and partly so because of her experiences, what life has dished her and how she has beautifully transformed into the amazing woman she is today! One of not only physical beauty, but of spiritual and inner beauty as well. I watch her as she manages her three children, all on her own, with no help from anyone. One has to smile at such strength, dignity and grace. She has come such a long way and has bloomed into such a beautiful flower. She has endured the worst of situations and as I thought about what’s she’s been through, I couldn’t help but shed some tears. By now, Raafiek is highly confused as to why I was suddenly crying. But, he stood by and comforted me and I spoke my heart. And yes, they were tears of sadness for the hurt she had and has to bear, even now sometimes. And, they were also tears of utter amazement! How a women could turn a situation filled with hurt, negativity and ungratefulness into something that now I’m so proud of as she outshines all of those bad memories and lives a life filled with only promise, hope and gratitude!

She has truly enriched my life with her experiences, thoughts and advice. I can’t see my life without her and I thank Allah each and every day for placing someone of her calibre in my path as she serves as a constant reminder to make the most of every situation and to be thankful for what I have. I wish her every success in life and may Allah Almighty ensure that all her biggest dreams and heart’s desires are only a step away! Because, without a doubt, she deserves it!

Sex and the City

2008-07-04T13:42:00.000+02:00

Ohmigosh! If you haven’t been to see Sex and the City, I suggest you do so… and fast! I thoroughly enjoyed it and was far more than a glitz and glamour parade show. It had an actual storyline, which was very interesting. And, as always, we were thrust into the lives of those four beautiful women – each in their own unique ways: Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha. It was quite exciting, even heart-wrenching at times, but definitely stunning – ooh and I loved the clothing and shoes.

Well, honestly, I’m not keen on Carrie’s dress style, (at points made me want to puke). I've never been a fan, but Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha’s is pretty classy. I enjoyed seeing how the very little things in life are what really matters… and that sometimes having your heart broken will bring you eternal happiness in the end.

It is the friendship between these four woman that captured me the most. They were always there for each other. Each and every time. And not even their partners could keep them away from each other… for they all knew and were aware of the bond these woman shared. And, quite spectacularly… they supported and nurtured it through all their years! I was truly inspired.

Building relations

2008-07-03T09:44:00.000+02:00

I think it’s important to keep building relationships… especially the very important ones. I worked from home today… and gladly so, it was storming outside. So, I cuddled back into bed, nice and snug with my bedside lamp on, I proofread the copy for our upcoming Top500 publication. Much later the afternoon, I made my parents coffee and then my Mom and I sat side by side nibbling on toast with jam and cheese. Was lovely spending some time with her, I haven’t in a while, needless to say I haven’t had much time for myself either with everything going on lately. It was such a memorable moment, we just chatted about stuff, all the changes we need to adapt to concerning my crazy work life and fulfilling my dreams. I told her I’d soon be meeting up with old friends for our Matric ’98 reunion on 2 August 2008. I’m looking forward to it. Seems my Mom is too, she got all excited and asked if I was gonna make myself something to dazzle on the evening. I said I was thinking about it. In an instant, my Mom whipped out some magazines from which to gain inspiration for a gown. I enjoyed spending that time with her and within it I realise that whatever may happen, she’ll always be my dear Mommy whom I love very much. And, even if I can’t seem to find the time for myself, I should always try to find the time for my Mommy, Daddy and my nearest and dearest!

Looking back

2008-07-02T09:18:00.000+02:00

As I awoke today… out of the blue, I could only remember one thing. What this day had meant to me two years ago! 2 July 2006 was a hard and hurtful day for me yet one of complete liberation too. I had just celebrated my Quarter Century Birthday with my friend, Nadia, the day before.

My friend Abbas decided to join me as we dropped the last party props. Thereafter, we proceeded to have coffee at Mugg&Bean and a little catch-up. We didn’t have one in a while. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and it was easy for the two of us to chat about things that hurt. We analysed a very weird dream I had a few days before and that to me was the most striking of it all.

After an enjoyable time, feeling centered and peaceful, I ventured on home only to be confronted with an ex-boyfriend who wanted nothing else but for me to take responsibility for the course he chose in life. I must say, it was the hardest thing to do that day, but I knew deep down, it was my only chance. I had to let go and stand up for myself. That was the deciding moment in my life. To take responsibility for my decisions and to deal with the consequences which my come. Looking back, all the hurt and pain endured is worthwhile. Worthwhile because right now, my life is exactly where I want it to be. I’ve endured the necessary and am now experiencing its beauty. Algamdulilah! I could never be where I am today without the mercy of Allah Almighty who stood by and guided me when I needed it most!

Determination

2008-07-01T16:05:00.000+02:00

Shucks! I’ve got so much to do! I need some perspective here… wait I have the perspective, just not the time. I need to manage my time more effectively.

My dreams are set in motion, and now I have to make it happen! I’ve always lived by that adage… well at least for the past 2 – 3 years… "Make it happen" and like my Mom always tells me: "Just Do It!" And, I indeed plan to. I’ve got a vision in mind and a mission in life and armed with all the support I have, I’m tackling the obstacles, even my lack of time to make true what I believe to be the epitome of my existence. I will fight to make a reality the goals I have deep inside. As hard as it may be, I pray my determination will see me through. That the mental images I have will not only be confined to my cortex but will live true in pure existence to be enjoyed and relished by life.

This will be my reality.

My whirlwind of joy

2008-07-01T01:43:00.000+02:00

Shoo! Things have been such a whirlwind lately! From finishing off my best friend’s morning wedding dress plus 4 bridesmaids dresses, then planning my engagement to Raafiek and designing and making my dress, to planning my Mom’s 50th Birthday Celebration Party, and now a fashion show for my Smooches clothing label!

I need a breather! But, I’m not complaining… I'm using what’s been given to me and that in itself is my blessing! It’s been a hectic year thus far, but I need to give it my all. I read something today… nothing should be undertaken unless excellence can be achieved. And, that is my exact intention. To bring about excellence. I know designing and making clothing is not seen as a major contribution to the economy or offsetting any major environmental preservation programme, but I see it differently. From a more inanimate perspective. A more spiritual one. I see it as the opportunity to build something, to contribute to someone’s nature and to allow someone to express themselves more effectively. Hence I’ve been inspired by an old Creed song which meant much to me at a very poignant moment in my life. give life . give love . give soul is exactly how I see my clothing line and the contribution it makes to the wearer. My making something for someone is to give life to something which never existed before… give love is what the wearer needs to first give to themselves and then to others… and give soul is what each wearer should exude to life. We should be proud to be alive, to be able to experience its beauty and to be able to use our five senses… something which most people take for granted.

I want people to stand up… to live life to the fullest… to make the most of each day… and to forever say what they feel deep down inside. I want us to express gratitude for what we have and to each day realise just how lucky we are to have yet another day to experience beauty beyond any measure… the beauty of a Most Powerful Creator! I give thanks and grace to Allah for allowing me such an honour!

Ask for it!

2008-06-25T15:33:00.000+02:00

Today I’m a little sad because one of my friends are hurting! It’s the sad truth that the greatest lessons in life come from the biggest hurts. I believe that what we go through shapes us into what we meant to become. I know for sure, that I’d never be the person I am today, appreciative and accepting, had I not endured my hurtful yet informative past.

As a woman when in relationships, we tend to lose ourselves, knowingly or unknowingly. We tend to ignore the very important aspects of what make us unique all to please the ones we love. This is wrong. We need to realise who we are completely before we expect the next person to know what we all about. We need to be all-accepting of ourselves, our good attributes and the bad ones. And, most important of all, something all woman are afraid of doing because they risk seeming needy and vulnerable – is asking for what they want!

Over time I’ve come to terms with the fact that no one will ever know what I’m feeling, not completely that is. With this being so, how can I expect that someone else, perhaps my loved one or partner to know what I need? The only way they would know is if I told them, or expressed what I needed. And, lo and behold, most times they are only to happy to give or provide you with the necessary. So, today I’d like to say to all woman out there… ask for what you want, put in your order, request it from the Universe and you will receive it. For just like any one else in this world, we all deserve to be happy, loved and fulfilled!

Embracing change

2008-06-24T15:53:00.000+02:00

Wow! Wow! Wow! Is all I can say for the way I’m feeling lately! Utterly amazing!

It was my 27th birthday on 19 June 2008, but the day before was certainly one for the books! One I’ll always want to remember and one I can’t wait to tell my own little ones some day! Raafiek, my boyfriend, planned the most beautiful surprise ever! I was under the impression we were going out for supper, but just before leaving we popped in at his place… my gosh! I’ll never be able to explain the way I felt at that moment. I couldn’t believe that someone had gone out of their way for me in that manner! What I saw was breathtaking… with the lights dimmed, there I stood in a room filled with candles, everywhere! On the ground was a candlelit walkway laced with sea shells and rose petals leading to a table for two while Tamia’s – My Man Finally Came Along played in the background. And, that was certain - My Man Finally Did Come Along! Behind one of the chairs stood my dear Raafiek waiting for me to be seated. We had a wonderful three-course meal: Creamy mushroom soup for starters, steak and chicken chow mein as the main course and fruit salad with fresh cream for desert. After supper I was led to follow three cards placed around the room, each of them A4 with a note from him… his feelings, our time and our future. When I got to the third card, I was so shocked! On it stated: “Will you marry me?” When I turned around to look for him, there he was on bended knee with the ring in his hand! Ohmigosh! It was such a sweet moment! I said: “Yes, of course I’ll marry you!” and kissed and hugged him! What a wonderful moment!

Then spot-on 12 o’clock, with our own made-up tradition, my friend Fouzia called to wish me happy birthday! I was elated to hear from her! And, she gave me such a beautiful gift, a soft, cushy, deep pink gown which I opened while on the phone with her. Shukran Fouzie! For everything! You certainly are a treasure!

Thereafter, my weekend was filled with trying to finish final arrangements, getting the last gifts and sorting out everything for my engagement to Raafiek and my Mommy’s 50th Celebration. Late nights, lots of caffeine and help form everywhere was the order of the day… and what made the moments something to look back on. Most nights, or should I say mornings, I went to bed at 4 trying to finish my dress, a pale green skirt and corset top I designed for the special occasion.

My grandmother, Aya flew in from Johannesburg to share in the special day with us. And, my family and I got a lovely surprise on Friday morning, the day after my birthday when my aunt and uncle from Joburg rocked up on our doorstep! It was like a movie scene when they called to say we should open the door. There they stood, in the rain, under an umbrella! I was blown away & felt really special that they made all that effort to come and share in our day! My mom & dad, aunt and uncle, took over from there and turned the engagement into an even more special event… lacing everything with sunflowers and butterflies… my favourite! They are all special to me and I’m really glad to have them in my life!

Well, well, among all the craziness, time didn’t stand still… and so, the final deciding moment came… a long awaited moment I must add! I got dressed, and yippee, my outfit was just perfect, got my head piece ready, which my cousins were dear enough to help with, finished my make-up and ready I was to pledge to marry Raafiek Burton! A man that has brought much happiness, contentment and peace to my soul! My gosh, I was so nervous! I didn’t even realise until my cousin Nadia told me I was shaking! Hehe :)

Anyhoo, my friend Waheed made the opening dua and on the proceedings went. During the entire ceremony I held my Dad’s hand, for whom my getting engaged has not been easy. I understand where he’s coming from. He may think he’s going to lose me, but that will never be with the grace of Allah, Insha-Allah. He’s not losing at all, he’s gaining so much more… another son… and one day Insha-Allah, some beautiful grandchildren. :) Oh Allah, please put Your protective hand over my Mommy & Daddy… and keep them safe. Thereafter, my Dad put the ring on my finger… and friends and family came to congratulate us. Was a beautiful moment I’ll always treasure. Shukran for making it happen Oh Allah! Algamdulilah! I am very thankful! Raafiek and I then exchanged gifts.

Thereafter, we feasted on so many deserts and cake and just mingled around with everyone. I wanted to make the day special for my Mommy too, so we made a video clip of her lifetime from her early days to the present… the family sat around and watched it while everyone was in jitters of laughter as they sat back and reminisced a time gone by… and within those moments remembered how far they have come and how thankful they are for what they now possess in the present. It certainly is evident that life cannot progress if we do not embrace change! We need to feel comfortable with change and allow things to pass by when their time has expired. Only in doing so, can we steer the way forward and move to days on which the sun can shine on our dreams and aspirations as we make possible exactly what we meant to be and become.

I am very happy! I’ve grown so much and learnt so much. I still learn each day and I try to see further than meets the eye to ensure I make the right choices and decisions in my life. Even in doing so, I know sometimes we need to allow ourselves to let go. That’s always been my biggest problem. But, I’m learning. I never wanted things to change, because in that moment I felt successful, afraid that if something was different it would open up the door to failure, or atleast the prospect of it. Little did in know, that my perception of failure was entirely up to me… as my failures could sometimes be little miracles to a lesson I desperately need. I’m no longer afraid. Firstly, my faith is in Allah, who owns everything I may deem as mine in this lifetime. Allah will give and take away and I will be satisfied… I’ve accepted. And, whatever may come, I’ll fight my resistance to keep things as they are and embrace the necessary change to lead me into the future.

I want to thank everyone who played their own special part in making my and Raafiek’s engagement as well as my Mom’s 50th Celebration such a wonderful success. The day was truly spectacular filled with memories to last a lifetime! May Allah bless you all and place in your path the much-needed change to make you bloom into the beautiful flower you’re meant to be!

For more pictures, see

The Engagement of Raafiek & Shaheema

Farewell 26

2008-06-18T15:22:00.000+02:00

So, today is my last and final day of being 26. And, what a year it has been!
Between 24 and 25, I had my heart broken in more ways than I care to imagine! And, that was a life lesson I’ll never forget! I learnt so much during that time… which prepared me for what I now have and experience in my life. When I turned 26, I was a new person, no longer the woman who just ventured around, meandering about the earth with no vision in sight. I was finally me! I finally knew who I was and what I wanted from this life. If there was anything I was more afraid of, it was change. I hated change. I loved things to stay the way they were. But, when I sat back and realised that the very thing I hated so greatly was exactly what was holding me back, I decided to make a change. I ventured into my fears… and heavily forced myself to walk the plains I terribly feared. I had to learn to open myself up again, to open up my heart and to allow whatever is meant to happen, to happen. It was never an easy task… and today it still is not. I constantly need to remind myself to let things be and to accept that changes that come. And, today, I stand here, so proudly. I’ve faced my biggest fear in this moment in time. I’ve allowed myself to become who I’m meant to be… and I’m still working hard at it… and, I’ve let go of the need to control and allow life’s beauty and pleasures to flow my way. And, be that as it may… I’m very happy now. I feel fulfilled and content.

26 was a wonderful time… a time when I let myself fall in love again… with someone who I really want to spend the rest of my life with. His name is Raafiek. A man so patient, it is incomprehensible. I guess that’s what I love the most about him. Through him, I’ve grown as he accepts me just as I am, yet knows the prospects of what I’m meant to be and pushes me towards it. The past year in his presence was and is amazing… and what was more beautiful than anything was that when we met, I was a whole person – me – the person I finally got to know and learn. A person he complements so beautifully and gracefully. We’ll be taking a big step soon – together. We getting engaged in four days time and I can’t wait!

Today, I want to thank all those very close and dear one’s (Mommy, Daddy, Ashraf, Raafiek, Shahieda, Nadia, Gakiema, Melissa, Imtithaal, Fouzia and Nadia D) who stood by me through the hard times and to those very same people, who still stand by me today through the good times. And, as I embark on the next phase of my life… a life with new lesson’s to be learnt, new things to experience and a new kind of happiness I know not of, I want to thank them in advance… as I know that they’ll be no place else, but by my side – as before – all the way! The trust here is immeasurable!

Looking forward to 27, where opportunity comes to life! I’ll make sure of it!

Happy Birthday Mom!

2008-06-17T16:20:00.000+02:00

Well today is my mom's Birthday... the woman who has stood by through all the trials and tribulations in my life... how could i not be thankful! She has watched me grown from a little girl into a beautiful woman who has learnt to appreciate the beauty of life, what it brings and how to always be thankful for what she has. My mother has always, and will always be the cornerstone of my life!

Of our relationship: Good things take time. It's not always easy to open up to someone and show them your heart... but I managed to fight the resistance and today we share a beautiful relationship built on love, trust and honour. I thank Allah each day for placing her in my life... and my wonderful dad as well who has been nothing but supportive and accepting all my life. It was his birthday two days ago... and I can't help but say a big SHUKRAN TO ALLAH for honouring me with the presence of two of the most important and influential people in my life! I'm truly blessed!

And, as I venture on what will be the stepping stone of the beginning of my next life... I know my beautiful parents will be right by my side, smiling along and supporting me all the way! What beauty!